I'm back.
It's been almost forty-four months since I've shown face on here. And I still have my left bunion. It has actually really been hurting lately, so I should probably think about getting that removed.
I'm not really sure how you start a blog post after it's been this long. It's almost awkward, like neglecting a best friend and then expecting them to just come running back to you when you remember them.
I guess life just really got crazy. And the really crazy thing is that when I was writing that last post, some really really sad stuff was about to happen in my life, something that I would have never seen coming. I was pretty optimistic that 2016 would be my year after a hard 2015, but it wasn't. My family went through one hell of a year that next year. I was living out one of my worst nightmares, the kind of nightmare you just want to wake up from so badly and even when you do wake up, you go back to sleep only to find that the nightmare keeps going on. Not only that, but it was one bad relationship/fling/whatever you'll call it after another. I was hanging on by a thread and you could tell by just looking at me. It also didn't help that I was knee deep in getting my bachelor's. I'm spinning just thinking about all of it.
But, things eventually got better.
As everyone knows, the sun usually shines through. Even on the dreariest of rainy days. I'm so grateful for my little Sterling Village Apartment, just two of my best friends and me. We moved in there the fall of 2016 and that became my little oasis for the next year. I loved sharing a room with Madi and having deep chats as we fell asleep every night, taking hot baths in my big tub after long days as an intern, plunging the toilet with Madi only for it to overflow every time it got clogged, hiding out in the closet reading Fifty Shades of Grey, buying too many bed sheets, eating way too much McDonald's because I'd never been so physically and mentally exhausted, having late nights on our back patio, and just watching movies and shows together staying up way too late.
Eventually things got better with my family too and we enjoyed an amazing Christmas all together as a family again. One of my favorite memories from that Christmas is the night we all put up the tree together and once we finished, us kids were hanging out in the kitchen. As I looked down into the dark family room, with the tree lights twinkling, I saw my parents cuddled up on the chair, a sight I never thought I'd see again in my life. This is a moment I'll cherish forever. It was like a chance to start all over, a fresh start for my family.
This next part deserves a separate blog post, so I'm going to be brief for now. 2017 also brought me Dan - my safe place, my person, my stay-up-way-too-late partner, my love. I guess you could say life got a lot better. I finally found someone whom I could trust and be my complete self with. And do you want to know how I got so lucky? Ash. And my dad. And Parent Teacher Conferences. And an embarrassed tomato-faced guy who took a leap of faith and texted his math student's sister. That's how.
So here I am today. I'm sitting at a table in a cozy home that has become ours. We're married now. I'm Mrs. Silva. We live a simple life. I teach fourth graders and Dan works for a roofing company. We have a dog, Tilly. She's staring at me right now with her cute face. She's my soulmate, dog-mate, whatever you want to call it. BUT I LOVE HER with all my heart. Never thought I'd be such an obsessed dog mama. Also, crossing my fingers and toes I'll be a real mama soon. We like to hike and camp and meal prep and visit our Cali fam and poke each other's yawns and stay up way too late watching shows and eat dinner together and travel to cool places and eat Taco Bell sometimes and save money and talk in each other's voice and spend time with the people we care about the most. It's a simple life. But you want to know what? It's all I ever dreamed of. I told Madi the other day I feel weird because everyone has all these big dreams, but I don't feel like I have any huge ones. Just some normal ones, like becoming debt free and waking up with more than ten minutes to get ready and being a good wife and mama when I have the chance. But I realized it's because I'm living my dream life. I've got my husband, my family, my best friends, Target, and my best gal pal, Tilly. This is all I ever wanted for my life and I'm living it right now. My best life.
That's just life. It rains, but then a rainbow appears. There's always one there if you just look for it.
xx Kenzie
