This has been an extremely hard and trying year. But through all of the hardships and pain, I have also seen glimpses of happiness and complete peace. I have learned many lessons, lessons I didn't even realize that I needed to learn. But I believe that I have come out stronger and that I will take these lessons as I walk through life and hold them near my heart, never forgetting what I have learned from them. Dare I say I am grateful for trials?
What a grand year it has been. I'm going to be very real here for a minute as I reflect on my year in this very unorganized paragraph fashion... Here goes.
My year. I said goodbye to one of my very best friends, Jennie, as she set off for her mission in March to Nashville. We all grieved over grandma's death in our own ways. I went on a Mexican cruise with my family. I nannied two little boys, Bill and Jake the whole spring semester. I watched grandpa try to settle into his new life without grandma by his side - his best friend, his lover - gone. I dove into my teaching program, not realizing the intensity it would hold. I wore my salt water sandals and rain boots all too often. I finished my second semester in the teaching program at UVU. I got to spend time in some wonderful elementary classes, the children all reminding me why I chose to be a teacher in the first place. I have cried, a lot. I have second-guessed my major. I continued the procrastination of getting my other bunion removed. I spent a lot of time with my family, in which I am so grateful. I continued writing Mike. The grandpas came to visit us for Payt's wedding in the summer. Great grandpa almost missed the wedding because he lost his glasses. I made a music video with my best friends for my 21st birthday. I spent a good amount of time riding the front runner back and forth for school spring semester. I wrote my best friend, Jennie, a lot - sharing anything and everything with her, hoping she could give me great advice, or just fix my life. I went on random dates, some good, some awkward. Mike returned home from his mission and things weren't the same. I've spent a lot of time on the phone with people I love. I bought bed sheets with bunnies (in sweaters) on them. I spent a weekend at Bryce canyon with grandpa, Davis, mom, and Patty. Grandpa took us on the scenic route to get home, doubling the drive. Grandpa told us so many cool stories. We spent a lot of time in Payt and Jord's hot tub, on cold nights. I moved in with my best friend, Natalie, for three weeks before she got married in June. I passed all of my college classes. I planned two bridal showers, one for my sissy and one for my best friend. I watched a best friend struggle though boy problems and have tried my best to help her through. I nannied for two other families during the summer, but then had to give all three up for a real job. I have spent loads of time driving and have learned to love it so much as it's a time for me to think and just be. I bought my grandma and grandpa's car. I went to the Taylor Swift concert with my best friends and Taylor Swift said all of the right words to change my life. I started working at OneExchange again in July and got promoted in August. My faith became really strong for part of the year, but then became really weak. I lost my best friend, my love, the person I thought I'd spend my life with. I bawled my eyes out at the T Swift concert. I wore my converse a lot. I went to a lot of $5 Tuesday movies with ST. I had to pick up all of my broken pieces off of the ground. I fell in love, again, way too fast. My friends and I went on the most dramatic camping trip in the fall, it literally was a mess. I didn't feel that great about myself. I missed China and talked about it a lot. I watched my baby sister walk down the aisle and marry her best friend. I lost something that I can never get back. I gained a new brother. My heart was broken, again. I lost people whom I considered family. I started photography and bought a nice camera. I got a Tinder. I sat and sat and sat and thought and thought and thought, a lot. My China sisters and I had a reunion in St. George in August and we loved each other harder than ever. I slept at Payt and Jordan's a lot. I bought a lot of picture books for my future classroom. I wrote in my journal. I started Grey's Anatomy, but didn't finish. I chopped my hair off and then regretted it. I para-sailed in Mexico. I was the photographer for my sister's wedding. I laughed a lot. I made really good friends in my cohort. I rang in the New Year with my best friends at the Arvo party. I took a dance class, the first one in three years. I started liking eggs, sunny-side up. I learned to cherish my family and friends more.
It was a year I will probably never forget, a year where I learned and grew as a person, more than ever before. I am walking into this next year hopeful. I'm hopeful it won't be so painful and there won't be so many lessons I have to learn, but who knows. I am walking into it with open eyes and a patched up heart. And I hope that instead of looking back on this year as a really hard one, I can remember all of the great memories, because it has also been a really wonderful one at the same time.
I really try to be present at all times, but this year, I will try even harder.
Now truly is now. It is all we have, so live in it.
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