CANCELED

Gosh, it's taken me a couple weeks to come to terms with the fact that our IVF cycle was canceled. 

We have not exactly been safe this year with Covid. We've spent time with family and friends all year and traveled quite a bit. But somehow we got Covid at the most inconvenient and random time when we were actually being MORE CAREFUL. Boy, does life like to throw curve balls. 

On Sunday, February 7th (our fourth day of STIMS), I felt awful. I had the worst body aches and chills all day. So I spent most of my time in bed. I had asked on my infertility page and several people had told me their body reacted the same way to the STIMS, so I thought nothing of it. At my ultrasound the next morning, the doctors thought it might be a good idea to get a Covid test just in case, but even they didn't think that I had it. Well, that night, I got a message in MyChart. Opening it up, not thinking I'd be positive, I read "detected". I couldn't believe my eyes. I felt so much anger. Because this meant that IVF would have to stop RIGHT THEN. I was pretty upset and emotional that night. My doctor called and we talked about next steps. We decided that I would start birth control that night and try to start up again in 3 weeks (so around March 1st). 

Covid wrecked me. I couldn't work for a whole week from all of the symptoms. Dan started having symptoms about three days after me, but never got quite as bad as I did. We both lost our taste and smell. I had a bad cough, sore throat, and I was lethargic. Dan mostly had congestion in the head. So we pretty much spent the entire week not working, camped out on the mattress in the living room, watching The Affair. We ordered so much food that we couldn't even taste.

Although this was not the plan and it was pretty devastating for us, we've tried to look at the positives. We will now feel a lot safer with having immunity. That way, I don't have to be stressed about getting Covid this next IVF cycle and in early pregnancy. Maybe this next cycle will be even better? Maybe I'll get even more follicles?? (We started off with 14 follicles last time, which was amazing!) We've been shown so much love and support throughout this last rough week. Thank you to everyone who sent a sweet text, called us, or left us something yummy or thoughtful. It meant the world and made a really crappy week a little better. 

I still feel pretty tired all the time, so I'm hoping to get my energy and motivation back sometime soon! Ugh! But each day I feel better and better. Now we'll re-order all the meds that we already used (over $2,000, yuck!) and get back on the wagon! Just a couple more weeks. 

I'll drop some pictures from this past week here. 

Dan trying to decide if he can taste or not! 

Dan got me these sour dough stencils that he had cut out himself and the sweetest card on Valentine's Day! We are going to celebrate again this coming week since this Valentine's Day royally sucked! 

We ordered this yummy cake from Jolene's sister! Too bad we couldn't really taste it. It was beautiful! 

Madi and Tay entertained me on Facetime one night when I was going crazy! 

Back before good ol' Covid hit and everything was running quite smoothly! This was our nightly routine. 

phase 1: the hustle and the prep

Welp. Here we are - day 1 of IVF. It's official! 

I wanted to give a little update on what these last few weeks have looked like. The doctor told us it was hustle time a couple weeks ago and boy was she right.

The past couple of weeks have consisted of an MRI for me, a sperm sample for Dan (that will be frozen for backup), playing games with insurance trying to get them to cover some of the meds, making some huge payments (you have to pay in full before starting), ordering meds, being overwhelmed by meds, rearranging our schedules, Covid tests, acupuncture and foot zoning for me, a blood test for me, so much researching, lots of manifesting, lots of panic, and lots of second-guessing. Are we doing the right thing? 

But, WE MADE IT! Here we are, IVF day one. I can't believe it. January flew by in the blink of an eye and I have a feeling this month will too. 

Today was our baseline ultrasound - cycle day 3. We woke up bright and early for our 7:30 am appointment. They wanted to make sure everything was "quiet". They check for cysts on the ovaries and any other issues with an ultrasound. Everything looked great! They even counted 14 follicles in my ovary!!! Side note: it has been confirmed that I indeed only have one ovary (which means my kidney COULD be missing too, WHAT? Ultrasound to come on that soon). Crazy, right?! I also have low AMH, meaning my egg reserve is a smaller quantity for my age. This has scared me. However, because of my age, they should be really good quality. So, they were all shocked when they counted 14 follicles. This number kind of sheds a little light on how many eggs might be retrieved. So it could be more or less than 14. It just depends on how I react to the meds (which I'm on the highest doses due to low AMH). 

After the ultrasound, we sat in the office with our nurse, Denise. She'll work with us the whole time alongside Dr. Verrilli. We love them both! She answered our questions about injections and all the things. We also went over our calendar for everything. 

So, here we go. Stimulation shots start tonight! Eeek. I'm so nervous for Dan to stab me. We are going to quarantine until next Thursday (my last Covid test), so we don't risk getting Covid. Covid would cancel the entire cycle and we'd lose all the money from the meds already taken. So we are laying low for a bit. So today I got some new books to keep me occupied through all of this. I also got some foods that are recommended for IVF - a lot of antioxidants. I picked up some dried fruit also to hold over my sweet tooth while I lay low on the sugar. 

We're excited and nervous, but so so glad it's finally here! Can't wait for our good news at the end of the month! Will we transfer one or two?!

The day I received this giant box of meds on my doorstep was very overwhelming, to say the least. I am not one to enjoy putting things in my body. I refuse to even take ibuprofen unless I'm dying. So this was a lot and a hard hard day. BUT things are looking up and I'm feeling better about it. It will all be worth it. 

I'll update soon on how this week goes with stims and ultrasounds and blood draws! I'll go in Monday for my first follicle check and blood draw. 

We can do this!! 

Happy Birthday, POPS! The big 5-0!

My dad turned 50 this week. Like what? I can't even believe it. He still seems like he's 35 to me. It's crazy. Seems like yesterday he was crawling around carrying me with my sleeper in his teeth as baby Simba. Thanks to Covid, we had to do a smaller surprise birthday party. Of course, he knew we'd all spend his birthday with him, so that wasn't really a surprise. But he had no idea what we had in store. 

Mom took him to some fish stores while all of us kids and gramps got everything decorated! It was pure hustle, but so much fun. We went with an old person theme and had old people snacks, drinks, and even dressed up as old people. It was pretty funny, especially Dan's outfit. Dad was pretty surprised when they got there! 

We spent the night eating taco soup, playing bingo, hitting the pinata, playing pin the readers on the old fart, and eating LOTS of snacks and cake and banana splits. Wow, we like to eat! Haha. We had the best time! Happy birthday, dad!