mama

I've been thinking a lot about how I cannot picture this baby of mine that is inside of me. Maybe it's because we don't know the gender? Maybe it's because I still have walls up? Who knows. But I can't seem to wrap my head around having a baby and becoming a mom. 

That's something I've wanted to be called for so long and now it's here and it just feels so foreign. 

Mama. 

But... we're literally 52 days away from our due date (hopefully less, if little one decides to come early). And I cannot wait to be called mama. It feels like a title I've waited my whole life to hold. I've wanted to be a mom since I was little. I made my siblings play house with me all the time and I was always the mom. It's just always felt like me. I feel like I even played a mom role to all my siblings in a way as I cared for them and watched out for them. 

Maybe once this little nugget comes earthside, it will all feel a little more real. Maybe I'll finally be able to accept that I'm actually a mom. Maybe I can let some walls down. Maybe I can just.feel.complete. 

I cannot wait to meet you, little one. I've waited so long to have you here.

Your daddy is a good one. He can't wait to meet you either.

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I also thought I'd include some pictures of our ultrasound. Baby is measuring well and looking amazing!! This was at 31 weeks and 5 days... but I'm measuring 33 weeks 2 days... hopefully this means baby will make their debut a tad early!

Look how squishy. Scroll to the last picture... HAIR!