I'm finally coming down off the high of everything today was. It's like we've been in this really long dark tunnel for a while and we are finally arriving at the end full of light. That's what today felt like, a breath of fresh air and a lot of hope. I really want to remember every moment of it, so I'm hopping on here to get it all out while it's still fresh.
I'll start from the beginning.
We woke up around 7:30 and got ready to go. I had an acupuncture appointment right before our transfer, so Dan dropped me off and got some coffee. It was so nice to just relax before and take the edge off. So many thoughts were going through my head... how would the transfer go? Would we have any embryos? Would they be graded well? Would I be able to time my full bladder so I wasn't holding it forever? All the thoughts. After acupuncture, we drove straight up to the U and got right to it. I went pee right when I got there (rebellious, I know) and then just started taking small sips. I know that my bladder fills up in an instant, so I knew I'd have no problem filling it back up. They got us right back to the transfer room where they had left me some "good luck" socks! So cute. I got undressed from the waist down and Dr. Verrilli came in. I knew it was time to hear about our embryos... I was more nervous than ever. As she talked about all these different numbers, I couldn't even listen and was just scrolling the page for a number that could be for our embryos. She finally got to it at the end and this is where I had the biggest relief of the whole day! We had four great embryos, plus two more they think could possibly grow to a blastocyst by either Friday or Saturday! Crazy, right?! I was expecting 3-4 tops, worried it would be less. But we're looking at possibly 5-6, for sure 4! It was the biggest relief for both of us. The top-graded one (4AA - literally perfect) was the one we transferred today. She showed us the picture, which was so freaking cool.
She asked me the last time I had peed and I said, "Ummmm like five minutes ago!" I assured her my bladder would be full in the next couple of minutes and it sure was. Dr. Verrilli told me that during the transfer I would hear her and Dr. Peterson discussing technique, but that it wasn't anything to worry about and nothing was wrong. Evelyn (the ultrasound tech. who has done a lot of my ultrasounds) did the abdominal ultrasound while the doctors got right to work. I was immediately feeling the pressure of my full bladder as she was pressing the ultrasound probe against me. I already knew it was going to be rough. They put in the metal clamp and started to thread the catheter through. They pulled it back out and tried again. All this time, I'm hearing low talking from them, which worried me. They tried a couple more times and at this point, I was getting so uncomfortable I started crying. Dan was squeezing my hand the entire time. Between the clamp, the catheter, and the probe against me, I thought I was going to die. Finally, Dr. Peterson said he wanted to lengthen my cervix (what?!) so they could get it in. I guess once you get past my cervix there is a 90-degree angle that has to be made to get to the uterus (is anything normal about my body?) Finally, after what felt like a million tries, we saw the catheter pop through on the ultrasound screen. I think everyone in the room was very relieved. Evelyn told us to watch the T.V. screen and the embryologist put my name on the screen and then our little embryo. Evelyn said, "There it is!" and I immediately teared up. We confirmed it and he came in with it in the tip of a separate catheter. Basically, they put the catheter holding the embryo right through the other catheter that was already placed and slip it right in! It went in so easily and we saw the slightest flicker as it arrived in the uterus. They took a picture. If you look closely, you can see the mouse pointing to where it went. The giant black hole-looking thing on the top.... yeah, that's my very very full bladder. The black hole to the right is my uterus with the lining in the middle. My cervix is below that. Pretty crazy! It was such a special moment. Then I needed to get to the bathroom. Luckily, I could stand up right after. They told me that the embryo won't fall out (haha). It's basically like this little buddy stuck between peanut butter. Pretty cool to think about. I know that definitely eases my mind. Haha! That was the best pee of my life afterward.
We decided to grab breakfast at The Coffee Shop in Little America. It was so nice to just sit and enjoy breakfast after all the craziness after the past couple of weeks. Felt very celebratory.
We came home for a little bit and I head right back to my second acupuncture. There's a lot of studies that have been done with doing acupuncture before and after transfer. I guess it increases the success rate. So it made me feel good to do that. She put these sticky tacks in my ears today, basically small needles with sticky tape so they stay in. She pushed them in different points in my ears. It helps a lot with calming the nervous system. There were certain places she put them on my ears to help balance hormones and calm the uterus. She had me keep them in all day. You can kind of see one in the top of my ear here. It's weird because I actually felt an immediate release of built-up stress when she placed them.
We've just been home the rest of the day. I've been trying to eat all of the healthy foods that aid in implantation - pineapple core, brazil nuts, pom juice, warm soups, lentils, you name it. Dan made us a nice salmon dinner tonight too. We have absolutely been showered with love today. So many texts, Marco Polos, and visitors. We feel the love and support! Dan also surprised me with about a million bouquets spread around the house and some yummy teas when I got back from acupuncture. He sure is a sweetie. Here are all of the flowers strewn about it.
I got the sweetest surprise visit from Nat, Zeann, and Hazel during the day. They brought me some yummy treats and flowers. It was nice to hang out for a bit! I'm so grateful for sweet Natalie and all of the support she has given me.
Then, Madi and Kale stopped by to hang out later after Dan and I took a nap (a very great one too!). It was so good to see them and just chat! Madi surprised me with the sweetest little baby outfit that I'm absolutely obsessed with. Can't wait to put it on our little babe. Then, Payt, Ash, and Jord showed up to see us and brought me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers.
We really got lucky with some of the best family and friends. I love them all so much.
What a day! Can't believe it finally came and now it's almost gone. It's one I'll never forget. It's so crazy to think that this morning our embryo was at the lab and now it's with me. Feels so special that I get to be the one to carry it and take care of it. This is a day that I'll never forget. We've made it so far.
Here's to the grueling two-week wait. Stick little embaby, stick!
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