I want to start off by saying that the last few days went so fast. We had our Ensign Peak date on his last Saturday. There is a post on this blog about that here.
June 30th - Sunday was his farewell. It was insane. I truly never thought that the day would come that MIKE would actually be the one speaking at his own farewell. Mike and I had been attending so many farewells the last few months and I truly never thought the day would come where it would be him standing up there as I sat in the audience without him. I missed him dearly that day as I sat with no hand in mine. I knew that the hour would soon be coming where we would have to say goodbye. He did amazing on his farewell talk. I was so proud of him. But, honestly I could just not wait to give him a hug afterwards. After sacrament, I drove with him to his house. Everyone was already over for his get together. It was really fun. All of my family came too and my friends. They really know how to throw a party! Mike was very busy the whole day trying to talk to everyone. He would come and check in with me every once in a while to see how I was doing. That was very sweet of him. I was downstairs mostly, with my friends. Everyone stayed for a while. I got to meet his Uncle Pat and his wife. That was cool. They don't live here so I have never met them before. We got to visit with them for a while - such a nice couple! Everyone started to disperse. Once mostly everyone had left, Mike, Erika, and I talked to their cousin Cade and his wife, Bridgett. They are really young and haven't been married for too long. They were telling us how they met at school and they didn't even know each other until they both got back from their missions. They are so cute together. I told them how I planned on waiting for Mike. I thought it was really sweet, because when they left, Bridgett hugged me and told me that I can wait for Mike if I want to and that I don't need to listen to anyone who tells me I can't do it. She is really sweet. After everyone had gone, we watched Ethan do some fireworks. I honestly was not in the best mood. I was just wanting to have some alone time with Mike. Then, he asked me if I wanted to go play Kick the Can with his friends later. I did not want to say no, but I just didn't really feel like it. But, we went. Erika came with us too. It was a hard night for me and I just did not want to be with everyone. I felt very emotional. I wasn't being myself. When we got back, it was time for Mike to take me home. He was having his friends over for their last sleepover. I feel bad because I wasn't really talking to Mike on the way home and I was not very nice when he dropped me off. I just felt kind of bad because I wanted him to want to be with me rather than his friends. It was a hard night. I talked to Erika after and she was saying that Mike felt really bad about everything.
July 1st - On Monday, Mike came over and we just lay in bed for a while. He was just holding me and trying to make me feel better. We hung out with my family for a while. That was nice. Later we went to his house. They had a family party at the pool. That was fun! I got to see and talk to his family. It was kind of hard to on Sunday since there were so many people. Mike ended up swimming, but I didn't really feel like it. Instead I talked to some of his fam and play Uno with his parents. I love them. It was a fun party. When we got home, we relaxed and played one last game of Sorry (our fave) with his parents. They all went to bed. Mike and I had talked about having one last make out before he left. When everyone had gone to bed, we went down in his basement. We went in the room where the ping pong table is. A couple days before this we had a really good make out session in there and wanted to rehash it. We started to kiss, but I was overcome with so many emotions. I started crying. He just held me and he cried too. We got on the couch. I asked him if I could just hold him. We both cried like babies. As I held him in my arms like baby, I just felt so much love for this person. He was just so precious and perfect. I talked about how life would not be the same without him around and how everything would remind me of him. Then, he held me as we cried some more. It was getting really late, so he took me home. I will carry this memory with me forever.
July 2nd - The dreaded last day... Mike picked me up early, around nine. We went to our place, Village Inn for one last visit. We got our usual VIB meals. It was so nice. I was feeling so many emotions, but just trying to enjoy every inch of time that we had left together. I loved staring at him as we held hands across the table. I just wanted to shout and tell everyone that it was our last day together. I felt so vulnerable. We talked and laughed over our breakfast for what seemed like just minutes. Time would not slow down. After breakfast, we went to see The Internship. It was a really funny movie, but I had such a hard time concentrating as I sat there with a pit in my stomach. He bought me a smoothie at Jamba Juice after. He is the sweetest guy on this planet. After that we went to my house so that he could say goodbye to my family. We talked to them for a while and he asked if he could have some ramen noodles. He had those and we had our last visit with the fam. It was time for us to go back to his house. He started saying goodbye to my family and I just lost it. He held me and he cried too. I knew that my time to say goodbye was only hours away. My mom was crying too. He has gotten so close to my family, it was like him saying goodbye to his own. It was so emotional. We got to his house and watched TV with his family for a little while. That was not what I had in mind for our last little bit together. I could not stop crying. He was getting set apart at seven and we had both decided that I should not come to that. We not be able to have a proper goodbye after that and it would just be too hard. My friends were coming to pick me up at six. The time was coming and I was having such bad anxiety. We went in his room and held and kissed each other for the last time. When my friends got there, they had some of his cake and we took some pictures. It was then time to say goodbye. I had been dreading this moment for so long and it had finally come. I was standing in it. I walked to Erika's room and hugged her for so long and that is when I lost it the most. We all walked to the door. Tay, Madi, and Natalie gave him hugs and said goodbye. We all stood on the porch crying and he said, "Thanks for everything, you guys." We were all crying. They all walked away so that we could say goodbye. I can't even remember what was said in those last moments and it kills me to write this out because it is all becoming so real again. I do remember that he told I would do great in school and whatever I set my mind to. He told me he would see me soon. Besides that, it is all a blur. I could not let go of him as we stood on that porch. Nothing else mattered in the world and I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide. I told him that I couldn't just walk away from him so he walked me out to the car. My friends were all crying on the grass. We stood by the car and he said, "This is it, this is our last kiss." Then, he handed me my box of stuff and I got in the car. I watched him walk away and I felt my heart fall out of my chest. We all cried the whole way home. In the box he had given me was a shirt. I pulled it out and shoved my face in it. It smelled so much like him. He also left me a kendama, a letter, a thank you note to my family, his patriarchal blessing, kendama stickers, and a countdown. When we got back to Madi's house, he had sent me one last message that said... "I love you kenz. I will see you soon. You are going to do so great in school and everything you set your mind to. You are my love and always will be. Please don't message me back I am going to turn off my phone now. Just to get ready to leave. I hope to hear from you on Thursday. I know I will. Use the dear elder website. I love you kenz. You are my life." And that was it. That was all. It was done and he was gone. My friends took me to Yogurtland and Tay bought my ice cream. They were all very sweet to do that. They helped me so much. After that, we went to my house. Jessi and her kids were there so we all hung out. My mom was looking through my box of me and Mike's stuff and she started crying. She was saying how it is so hard for her to see her kids in pain. It was a hard night, to say the least.
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So, that was it. We did it. We got through the worst part. Now, here's to the rest of this journey! I love this boy so much.
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