this little adventure: Beijing, you stole my heart and almost made me poop my pants

There's something you should know about travel. It's not all that it looks. All that we see is the beautiful pictures of things like the rice fields, holding animals, riding elephants, standing on The Great Wall, etc. But to be honest, traveling is pretty exhausting. What is not shown is millions of hours of travel time on trains, buses, taxis, and subways, walking through giant crowds of people who do not know how to wait in line, gross smells, pretty bad food, stomachaches, butt rashes, staying in hostels with people you do not know, walking down sketchy streets, ACHEY FEET, I think you get the point. Sometimes you're just ready to get home, home as in Ningbo. I love traveling, but I am a home body. I like routine, I like my things, you know.

Beijing was very bitter-sweet. We rode the bullet train to and from Beijing. I knocked myself out with some Dramamine so that I could sleep for part of the 8 hour train ride. When we arrived, we took a subway and I actually got stuck in the subway door and my bag and Madi's bag were stuck out the door as we pried the doors open. Talk about hilarious, for us and the Chinese. After the subway, we walked for what seemed like ten miles to get to our hostel, only to find out that we had been split up once we got there. Our group of ten was split into four rooms, meaning that we would be sleeping with strangers. Grandma, ignore that. It did not end up being too bad. It is like a dorm and it is actually very clean and nice. It is just for people who are looking for a place to crash, which was us exactly. The next day, after wandering around forever trying to figure out how to get to the Great Wall, we realized we had missed the bus, so we decided to make that the Forbidden City day instead. It ended up being really amazing to see, but Madi had the dreaded stomachache and wanted to poop her pants all day. She couldn't even frolic through the trees in fear that she may shart herself. She also tripped when leaving a museum and we thought she had died with the tumble she had. That was when the waterworks started. She just had a really bad day... and I think she gave it to me, because as soon as we left the Forbidden City and began walking to Tiananmen's Square, I felt it hit me. I was about to shart my pants, too. We were walking on a very poverish street, lots of homeless people, very small sidewalk, and nasty smells left and right. There was no bathroom in sight. And when you have to go, you know. After about ten minutes of walking we thought we had made it to the square, only to realize that there was a million mile long ~~line~~ (what am I saying, the Chinese do not line up) traffic jam to get into the square. Several times I found myself looking at Madi saying "help me." I guess I was somehow wishing that she could help since she had been feeling the same way all day. Several times, I thought I was a goner. I pictured myself pulling my pants down and throwing myself over the fence that was trapping us in this purely awful jam. You'll be glad to hear that I made it. I had never felt more grateful in my life. So here I am to tell the story of how I almost sharted my pants in Beijing, even though I will admit that it probably would have been a much better ending if I had actually sharted my pants. Anywho, we finally got through and Madi and I wanted to sit down while everyone else walked through Tiananmen's Square. Everyone seemed annoyed of us, so Madi made the comment that, "Everyone doesn't need to be mad when I feel like a piece of sh**." Yeah, it was hilarious. That night we went to the silk markets and that was actually very exciting. We bartered our hearts out with the Chinese and actually got some pretty good deals. I got some chucks for $16, some Nikes for $25, and a nice down coat for $40. Jennie and Madi were quite mad because I got a better deal than them on the coats. They ended up paying about $65. They should have waited for the bartering pro.

The Great Wall of China was the next day and what a much better day that was. We paid for a tour, which included a nice breakfast, a bus WITH a comedian, and a nice lunch in which we met two nice girls, one who could speak three languages. It was pretty cool. At The Great Wall, we took a chair lift up and the view was to die for. Then we walked around and took too many pictures and videos on the wall. It was amazing. Everything about it. A life-changing, memory that will stick with me forever. Then we tobogganed down the wall, which was a blast! The whole day was so fun. And guess where we went after the wall...? Yep, back to the silk markets. I ended up getting Toms for like $8. I also helped Kaylie barter for some shoes and about got myself killed because apparently I was asking for an unreasonable price. The lady told me to get out and held a stick up saying, "I'm going to kill you!" I mean, I think she was kidding, but still. We went to the night markets later and some of the girls ate scorpions -- SO NASTY. Apparently they kind of tasted like potato chips, though. So, okay, still not enough for me to try them. The train ride home was uhhh... like a freaking sauna. I took Dramamine again and it was so hot and I was drowsy and my hands and feet kept swelling up. We were all going crazy. We made it home, safe and sound, only after we were driven home by a very crazy taxi driver. Don't worry, I'm still alive, obviously.

Beijing, you were awesome, but you did almost make me poop my pants.