Trescientos

Today is a pretty special day because it's 300 days down from Mikey being gone. That is so amazing to me, that we have made it that far. I remember last year at this time, I had a countdown for when Mike was leaving. It read, "65 days."I was so scared, so distraught, feeling pretty awful. 65 days to the year mark and I feel so much better than last year, let me tell ya. I am so proud of him, of us, and myself. It is such an accomplished feeling to be this far and really it doesn't quite seem like it's been that long... okay, maybe it does. I can't even tell.

Know what I've realized? Two years is a long time to wait and it's an even longer time to be strong. So, let yourself cry sometimes. 

C E L E B R A T E milestones. 

Sundee - a very great day

Beautiful flowers on a beautiful Sunday.

Today Payt asked me if I would go to the home ward with her because she was going to be set apart as a primary teacher. I told her I would go with and little did I know that I would be called again to be a primary teacher with her. This is just what I have been needing. It's funny because as we sat in sacrament, we whispered about how it would be fun if we could be teaching partners. Looks like Bishop D had the same thing in mind. So, I'm leaving the single's ward and I'm back to the home ward. I know this is where I need to be, back with the primary children. I learn so much from them + I love teaching. PLUS, I get to do it with my sister. I am so excited and I feel so blessed.

And He's Off!

Mike left for the Bahamas last Wednesday. Transfer! I haven't talked to him still, but I am assuming it is because of all of the changes.

On Wednesday, his mom got a message from someone saying that they saw Mike and his companion at the airport and that they were also from Utah. It was so cool. Plus, they sent a picture! Even better since Mike hardly ever sends pictures anymore.

He looks great and happy. I miss him so much and I really hope to talk to him soon. I am putting my trust in the Lord and praying that he is safe. No news is good news, right?

P.S. The not-so-many-countdowns is going great for me. It's making time go by so much quicker. Thank the heavens. 

Honey Hustlers - One Night Is Never Enough

Often times, I miss high school a lot more than I thought I would. But luckily I have great friends and we have all stuck together. Now, two years after graduation, we are still the best of friends and when we are together, it feels just like old times. Our moms are also close and that makes it even better. We were all on Dance Company together. Well, minus Madi - but yeah, she was pretty much on Dance Co. We have became the six best friends, and the moms, well they're just the Honey Hustlers. Don't worry about the meaning behind that. We finally were able to plan a night to see each other and we were all so excited. We ended up going to the dance concert and then Chili's after. It was such a fun night full of memories, laughs, catching up, and friendship. We even got see some old dance co. friends and that was exciting.

Besides my nasty face rash, the night was swell.

So two years ago, at our year-end Dance concert, we took this picture of the six best friends. Although Natalie is gone on a mission, we gathered the mothers and forced them to take pictures of us in the same spot - two years later.

2012

2014

I love these guys and I am so grateful for each of them and the impact they have had in my life. I know that we will be friends forever and always make time for each other. We have decided that we will take this same picture at all of our weddings. 

{Yellow Nothings}

There are many things in life to be grateful for -- many, many things. But there are the hard things in life that are difficult to be grateful for. Those are the yellow nothings, the things that we wish to forget about or perhaps, the things we wish would have never come about.

You see, in life we have all of those beautiful flowers, the ones that people buy in the store on Valentine's Day or an anniversary. These are the flowers that everyone wants, the ones that everyone pays for. But then there are the flowers that are maybe not as beautiful, but they are still flowers. A flower is a flower is a flower. Right? I know, you get it.

But I just have to get this thought out and I hope I can make any sense of it. In life we have those things that we are obviously grateful for. These things are priceless. They are worth more than any amount of money you could spend. If you had to, you would spend all the money in the world on these things.You don't even have to second guess yourself. But then there are the things in your life that you are maybe not so grateful for -- mistakes, deaths, flaws, trials, heartbreaks (just to name a few). We often wish to get over, forget, or erase these things. These are again the yellow nothings -- the flowers that aren't ravish-worthy or paid for, the flowers that are often forgotten about.

But, oh their beauty. 

I think we should probably be grateful for those yellow nothings because without those yellow nothings, we would not have the holiday flowers, the special flowers -- the expensive flowers. 

Those "special" flowers wouldn't even be special. 

We have to be grateful for it all, every last bit of it. And when I say "it," I mean life. 

Today, I am feeling extra grateful. I am grateful for these yellow flowers, the plane that got Mike safely to the Bahamas, a package in the mail, a compliment from a co-worker, a night that is going to spent with best friends, and most of all, peace. I feel at peace with life and that in itself can change your whole perspective. Just be simple. 

st. geezy with the chaps

So, my family is really close to the Chapmans. Like we are all lifelong friends. So our moms planned a wonderful little St. George trip for us. We left on April 3 and came back April 6th. It was much-needed and so much fun. After work and school on Thursday, Madi and I drove with Davis and Corbin and met the rest of the clan down there. 

We all had so much fun going to movies, hiking, going to Dixie Rock, going to Outback Steakhouse, laughing, twerking, eating junk food, sleeping in, swimming, playing games in the hot tub, etc. It was such a fun trip with everyone. 

We had adjoining rooms, so that was fun running back and forth to each other. It was hilarious the day we all sat in the hot tub and played games for a good three hours. It was so relaxing. Jessi is like a second mom to me and Madi, Corb, and Syd are like siblings. We always have so much fun together and you always see some crazy sides come out of each of us. I am grateful for such loving friends and a fun trip. 

Overwhelmed, Overjoyed -- Oh The O's

I am so... I don't even know. I should be writing an essay for english right now, or catching up on my math, or filling out my China paperwork, or scheduling a doctor's appointment, or saying my prayers, or visiting with my family, or reading The Fault In Our Stars, or GOING TO BED, or catching up on conference talks, or doing my laundry, or showering and shaving, or visiting my grandparents, or meal-prepping... but goodness sakes, I'm blogging because I need to get something off of my chest.

Something has been on my mind lately. It's counting down. It's the whole counting down journey that Mike and I are on. The other day or maybe that was a freaking month ago, I listened to this girl talk about her waiting experience. She said to stop counting down - it might go faster! She said to enjoy your time - it might be more worthwhile. I think I really took her advice more than probably anyone else did. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because there are so many things that I need to do, so many things that I would like to do. Especially with this whole waiting thing. It's like I have to remember to put my sticker on each day, remember to tear a link off my chain every Wednesday, remember to fill in a heart on my wall each month, remember to take my monthly picture, remember to do my monthly blog post/countdown, remember to scrapbook our page each month, remember to print out all the emails for our book, remember to plan the next package, remember to email Mike each Sunday night, remember to stare at my countdown apps each day to see if they have budged.

To say the least, it's exhausting, overwhelming, and also, it's sad, it's hard, and it is devastating. Because days only move so fast and you can only count so many sheep at night. I realized something. I AM DONE. I am done with the bazillion countdowns. I am down with disappointing myself by how slow the time seems to slide. I am just done.

So I deleted my countdown app. I kept one and put it somewhere where I wouldn't really see it in my phone, just so I could check it every once in a while. I stopped putting stickers on my chart (and oh how exciting it is when I get to put 67 stickers on at one time). I stopped staring at my countdowns. Ya know, I like to celebrate month marks, year marks, etc. But day marks. No, you shouldn't. It's just torturous and deceiving. I'll still do my monthly blog post, my monthly scrapbook page, print the emails to save, rip links off my chain each week, and fill in the hearts on my wall. But I am sick of thinking about what day I am on every day. It inches by when you do that. Because hmmm... I wonder how many days it has been today. Well, ya know, maybe one day less than when you looked yesterday. Or ya know, you just checked an hour ago, so another day hasn't even gone by.


I am done. I love Mike. I am head over heals in love with him. I adore him. This has nothing to do with my feelings for him. But this time is about me too and I need to stop breaking my own heart with all of the different countdowns. I am doing this for my own sanity.

Wish me luck!

Sweet-Sixteen

Hello, month sixteen. You've been very good to us. Holy crap. Can I just take a minute to scream. It has been nine whole months. Only 15 months left! How crazy is that!? Time is honestly going pretty quickly. I think it's because of the amount of business I place on myself. It drives me bonkers, but whatevs. Keeps me SANE.

Let's see... this month was grand. I turned 20, Mike turned 20, and we celebrated two years. TWO YEARS. Seems like I just met the kid. That fluffy-haired kid that I just fell in love with so fast. It's been a fast and exciting month for me. With a lot of celebration. It was hard being away from Mike for my birthday, but my best friend, Madi made it grand. For Mike's birthday, I celebrated with Mike's family. We had his favorite dinner, cake, and ice-cream. Oh, and we sang... REALLY loud. In hopes that he might hear us. Then I also sang with my fam. I think I ultimately celebrated his birth more than he did. He loved his packages and enjoyed the letters from everyone. Something exciting for me this month is that I got accepted into the teaching program at UVU. I was stoked and still am. I will not be starting until Spring 2015, however. Because, ya know, CHINA. My grandma has been really sick this month, so I have been spending lots of time with her, which I am so grateful for. So so grateful for.

Mike is just great. I think we were both dumb, cause this month we both discovered that we can email back and forth on his P-days. Took us until now to get that going and I am glad that we did. Cause boy he seems a lot more real and human now. I am grateful for that time we spend talking on Mondays. It's my favorite. :) He is still in Negril. A couple weeks ago he was going to be transferred to the Bahamas, but then he is waiting on his work permit or something like that.... so he still has not gone. Who knows when he will go. He loves Negril, though and I know he does not mind being there. But Bahamas... how lucky can ya get. He has met some amazing people. This month, talking back and forth with him, I have truly just realized how much he has grown and how strong in the gospel he is getting. He helps me so much and I am working towards the temple and getting back to church. So things are just great. I love that boy. He makes me a better person each day.

So, of course I'll share a memory as tradition. This was the night before the day we had to say goodbye. Uhh so we had planned on having a good make out, but emotions got the best of us and we just cried. We both cried harder than ever before. I remember asking him if I could just hold him like a baby. It's kind of our thing, to treat each other like babies. So I held him and I cried and I cried and I talked about how things just wouldn't be the same without him. Seven Peaks wouldn't be the same without him tossing me around in the waves. It was a very emotional night for both of us. But something I do remember most is the amount of love I felt for him and I literally felt the love he had for me. I felt it radiating from his soul and I know that he felt the love I have for him. It was touchable almost with both of us just so vulnerable and breakable. We took turns holding each other and sharing memories. I even kept my tissue from that night. I remember it got really really late and we knew I needed to get home. I knew it was our last night together. We only had the next day and that was all. It was such a special memory, one that I hold close to my heart and one I will never ever forget. 

Watch out, mission baby's been born! Nine months down. :)