There are really good days, like the day I was feeling really happy and I snapped a picture of a patriotic popsicle. Optimism was my best friend that day. Those are the days when you feel on top of the world, like nothing can get you down. But then there are very bad days, days that shake you, days that make you really think. Today was a day where I thought several times, "I was so happy a couple weeks ago. If only I would have realized it then." That is something that Gretchin talks about in The Happiness Project and it has stuck with me. I do in fact, find myself saying that so much.
I'm bawling as I'm typing because my heart is so heavy. I had to be told some things that hurt. It was a really hard day. I haven't felt like this in a long time. In fact, I don't remember really ever feeling this. It's a new kind of hard day. I was on the brink of a melt down the entire day and I hated it. But I know that people are carrying me through days like this. I know my Heavenly Father is. I know my friends are. I know my family is. I got home after this hard day and in the mail I had a letter from my great grandpa in Ohio, with $50 and I also got a copy of my patriarchal blessing, which I have been waiting on patiently. Later, Madi and Ryan brought me the sweetest gift. I don't think you would be able to see any of my footprints in the sand right now because all of these people carried me today. I'm forever grateful for Madi especially and her kind advice. She understands me like no one else. I'm grateful for our friendship.
I don't know how I would get through days like today without such selfless people.
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