I could talk about all that my grandma WAS, but I believe that she is still around us, so I will talk about all that she IS.
Not everyone is lucky enough to be so close to their grandparents, but I guess you could say that I am one of the lucky ones. I have been so close to my grandma my entire life. The other day my dad said I have been close to grandma since I was little as he held his hand out showing my height as a little girl. It really made me realize how lucky I am. And although I feel that I was cut short, I know she is still with me and she always will be. She will be there the day I get married and the day I have my first child. She will be there through it all, just like she always talked about. We all know that grandma has the best advice, that she listens carefully, and she is so comforting. And it didn't ever hurt that she had some kind of sweet to give out. Grandma always buys those big boxes of chocolates, you know, the ones with several layers. She always brings the box out around the holidays and she lets me have first choice because I love those chocolates so much. We always dig through all the layers finding the best ones and then we eat as many as we can until we feel sick. Her eyes always light up when she brings out those chocolates. She also buys these "little breads" as we call them. They are little cocktail breads and grandma always gets them around the holidays, brings them out with the cheese, and she and I eat them. It's always just been our thing. The other day while over at their house, a few days after grandma had passed, I was looking at her grocery list she had made just a few days earlier and grandpa showed me that she had written cocktail breads on the list. She was so excited for the holidays, especially for our annual Christmas night tradition at her and grandpa's house. I know grandma was there with us this year and she was probably eating some of the "little breads" with cheese, her favorite.
Grandma just has this way of making people feel so important and so special in this big world. She is so passionate in what she believes in and she loves with her whole heart. My grandma is one of a kind. She is hilarious without even trying to be and she is wise and so honest. You can talk to grandma for hours and she never gets tired of talking. She is one of the best secret keepers I know and I have always been able to trust her with anything. Grandma never complained about her health and she was more concerned about the well being of everyone else.
Grandma was so nervous about me going to China. I really don't think she wanted me to go at all. She was worried about the hostels, the people, the things going on there. I think she worried the entire time I was gone. She talked about it to everyone. The day I got home from China, as I was sitting in the LA airport, I thought to call grandma. She told me how relieved and happy she was that I was back on American soil. I could hear the relief in her voice. We talked about Christmas and how she was excited the whole family would be here and that Sloane's family would even be in town. We talked for about an hour and I could hear her start to cry as we hung up the phone. Later when I got home, she and grandpa came over to our house and she walked to the piano bench like she always did so she could catch her breath. I walked over to her and we both just held each other as we cried. It's a moment I'll cherish forever.
She loves you grandpa. I could always see it in her eyes. One night this summer I slept at their house and grandpa went to church the next day. I remember waking up to grandma talking about how cute grandpa looked in his new sports coat that he had gotten. She went on and on about it that morning. I don't know why, but I just realized how much she loved him that day. I also remember a night probably over a year ago when grandma and grandpa were talking about when they met and got married. And I remember specifically grandma looking over at grandpa with this sparkle in her eye. And she said, "he's perfect." She explained that yeah of course there are little things that they get at each other about, but that he was perfect. I remember grandpa just kind of laughing, like "yeah right." I hope to have the kind of love grandma and grandpa have.
There is a memory that I have from last spring when grandma was really sick. We thought that was it and the family gathered with her as we thought those were her last days. We all should have known that they weren't with how strong of s fighter grandma has been. But anyway, she ended up in the hospital and I really tried to spend as much time as I could with her, missing school, and everything. Nothing even mattered. I just wanted to be with her. I remember one night it was just us two in the hospital and she was so happy. She talked and talked about anything and everything and I just listened and took it all in. I specifically remember her telling me about how in all the times when she has been suffering so much, the only person who truly knows her pain is the Savior. She talked about her love for him and how he loves us so much. She talked about how he can help us through anything. I'll always remember that. She really loves the Savior and I think she was always really close to him, especially through scary times, times of suffering, times when she felt so alone in her pain. What an example she has been to me.
I'm so grateful for the way my grandma raised my dad. He is amazing and I know it's mostly because of grandma and the love she has continually shown him.
Grandma is amazing. She's everything I want to be in my life. What a great example she has been of a wonderful daughter, mother, sister, wife, grandma, great grandma, aunt, friend, cousin. She has shown love to all of us and I hope we will continue to feel her love because she is there. The love she has shown me is insurmountable. It's a love that no one could replace.
I hate to see a world without grandma, but I know she helped make our world more beautiful. I hope to be half the person my grandma is someday. And even though she is not here with us anymore, I pray that we can feel her and remember that we will see her again one day.
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