those old pink ballet slippers

My birthday is right around the corner. I can hardly believe that I will only be a teenager for about two and half more days. That is so insane to me. I have really been looking back on my life this past week at really how grand it has been. I am truly blessed.

A chapter of my life is closing - I like to think of that chapter as the carefree child, adolescent and then teenager. But I guess I was never really the carefree type. "She was born mature," they all say. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I agree with that. I guess everyone thought that because of the way I took care of my siblings and I folded my socks down around my ankles twenty-four times before leaving the house (they had to be perfect, don't ya know?). I was always so serious and still am, but have tried to "let my hair down" a little - I don't want to be the serious one.

I feel like I have accomplished a lot in these two decades of life. I will never learn more than I did in these twenty years. I started off as a small baby, just being born. I learned to walk, talk, eat, sleep, and even go potty in the "big toilet." I learned to read and then I learned and learned (or memorized and memorized) all of the things that we need to know in school. I also grew. I grew and grew from that little tiny body to a now adult who has to do adult things and live an adult life. I find it pretty amazing how much change can occur in just twenty years. I have definitely been blessed and I think I have always realized that.

I have to give the majority of the credit to my adoring parents for loving me. That's what a child truly needs and they will grow leaps and bounds. My dad was the first one to make me feel beautiful and he has always made me seem better than I really am. My mom has been there through it all and she has watched me go through every little thing. She is the most selfless person I know. I am so grateful for my siblings. They are each so special to me in their own way. Payt is so hilarious and so caring. I am so lucky to have a sister so close in age. There is never a dull moment when Davis is around and I am proud of him for finding the person he wants to be. Ash is the sweetest person. I can't believe how much she has grown up in the past year. She will always be my baby sister, though. Patty is still the baby of the family and I love the crap out of him. He is one amazing person. I have to give credit to my grandparents, on both sides. My dad's parents have been there through and through, to every little thing I have done to show their support. They are both very wise and I know that I can go to them for anything. My mom's dad has always lived out of the state, but he has made it a priority to always come out for visits. I am so grateful for him and my great grandpa, who is hilarious and always accompanies him. It's always a grand time. My grandpa also helped me buy my first car and that was such a blessing to me. I am thankful for my mom's mother, my grandma. I know I do not see her much, but when I do she has shown me love and a different way of life. I have learned so much from their situation. I am thankful for all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some are out of state, some in Utah. But I love them all the same. I have very fond memories of all of us cousins playing as children - memories that will never leave me. They hold a special place in my heart. I am thankful for great grandparents who have passed on, some who I did not really have a chance to make a relationship with, but I know I will have the chance someday. I would like to give a lot of credit to all of my many many friends I have had throughout life. They have all shaped me in some way and they have all taught me something. I am very grateful for the friends who have stuck by me, who still love me when it seems no one else does. I am grateful for Taylor, for always making sure I'm okay and for showing me how to be a good friend. I am grateful for Natalie, who is not here, but she has been such a wonderful friend and I know that will continue on when she gets home. For Jennie, for being so sweet and always having a listening ear. For Cadee, who I love but rarely ever see. I have to give a special thanks to Madi, whom I have been through it all with. She has been my shoulder to cry on, my procrastinator go-to, my best friend. She is also the most thoughtful person I know and she has taught me so much. We are the six best friends and I love them. Madi's parents, Glade and Jessi, also have a special place in my heart and I think of them as my second parents. I am thankful for Mike's family, The Peters - Tim, Jorjann, and Erika. They have all taught me so much and they have welcomed me with open arms and open hearts. I am especially thankful for Mike for loving me at my lowest and my highest and for teaching me how to love. He is the one I plan to spend forever with - he's my love, the one I confide in, and he's my heart, my heart, my heart. I have to thank all of my teachers, my dance mentors, my leaders, anyone who has impacted my life in any way. And if I have not mentioned someone, I am thankful for you.

I have so much to be grateful for. My heart is full. I know that as I take on this next chapter in life... let's say the next twenty years, I will constantly look back to this chapter for advice, for help through my struggles and my tears. I have a couple days left in this chapter, so I think I should do something good, make someone smile, be friendlier and a better listener. Oh, and perhaps I'll pull out my old pink ballet slippers, squeeze them on, twirl around, and place them back in the box. Once I do that, I just might be able to end this chapter with a smile and a heart full of love. But it's not "the end." It's really only the beginning.



Who knows, maybe in twenty years, I'll make another blog post. That's scary... I could have a few grey hairs by then. No, let's not think about that. Here's to being young and 20!

I love you all, every one of you.

Happy Happy Heart Day

Yeah, I was kind of dreading Valentine's Day this year. I think we all know why. I had never really dreaded it before. But this year I was. Really, it turned out to be a wonderful day. When I got to work, my best friend, Madi had left me my favorite movie - About Time, a card, chapstick, and some chocolate. Oh - and a balloon taped to the corner of my computer. She is the best and definitely the most thoughtful person I know. I am so grateful for her friendship. It's friends like that, that you definitely want to keep.

When I got home from work, I was feeling kind of sad because I didn't know what I would do that evening. My parents were off to a hotel, my friends were all with their boyfriends. I ended up going with Tay to get some last minute gifts for Anth. We also drove all the way to like Sandy just for two chocolate covered strawberries. That is a whole other story in itself. It took us so long that she had to do her makeup while driving home with her knee. I'm pretty sure she wasn't even looking at the road, but herself in the mirror. When I got home, it was dark outside and the house was dark. I called my parents and they said they were going to dinner AND they invited me to go with on their date. I didn't want to intrude on their date, but they insisted, so why not!

We first tried Olive Garden. Nope, much too long of a wait! Then, it was TGIF's - same thing. We got in the car and drove to another area where the traffic was so horrendous. Our next stop was this bar/grill and I fail to remember the name. When we got in there, they asked for ID, so you had to be 21. Too bad for my parents that they brought their infant with them. We then ran across the street to Applebee's. When they told us the wait time, my dad decided to make a scene by yelling something like, "I wouldn't even choose Applebee's without the wait." My mom and I were humiliated. We gave him a hard time about it the rest of the night. How hilarious it was! We finally stopped at Chili's. We parked our car and spotted some other people who had just parked. My mom starts bolting to the door to beat them in. AND we made it. We got a table right when we walked in since we sat on the bar side. FINALLY. Gosh, it was quite the chase, but we did end up eating at the end of the night.

My parents even got my siblings and I a hotel room. We all had a good time together and even watched the good ol' Cast Away, which Davis complained through. Patty and I slept on the rickety pull-out couch. It was rough. The hotel is really nice though. It was the new Embassy and Suites that we stayed at. Breakfast was to die for in the morning! I definitely will be going back there.

I know this post is like 10 days late, but happy heart day, all!

Balloons, Balloons: Whose Birthday is it Anyway?

I'm really quite excited because March has always been a great month for me. It is my birthday. But then, it got even greater because I met Mike and Mike's birthday is also in March. And... on top of that, it is our anniversary in March. What are the odds! I foresee that we might just always love March. It's pretty cool.

I know this year might be kind of hard because Mike is away and I won't be celebrating with him, but I am going to try my best to enjoy it. For our anniversary, I will probably stop at Village Inn (our place) and have some breakfast. Maybe I'll feel closer to him there on our day.

March 2nd - I'm 20
March 17th - our 2 year anniversary
March 18th - Mike is 20

So, in celebration of the big month, I have gotten a package ready for Mike and I'm quite anxious for him to get it! I am hoping he will wait until the 17th at least to open it, but knowing him, he probably won't be able to wait. Well, here's what I got.

This is what I like to call "Our Birthday Party in a Box." I included 20 reasons why I think I should continue loving him, a picture, candles, a mini "happy birthday" banner, a key to my heart, a "kiss," and some much needed paper confetti. I think it's as good as it gets. 

I found this adorable book and I just knew it was for Mike. I wrote all over in it with memories and funny things.

A tie, drenched in perfume

Anniversary Card 

  

This was my favorite part of the package. I was able to round up a gazillion letters for him from our friends, his family, my family, extended family, grandparents, etc. I really thought that it would be something to make his day. And thanks to Jorjann for helping me get them all together! She is the best. 

 

A stack of some good ol' pictures

Some of his favorite snacks

There were some other little things that I added in there, like a book my mom had by Gordon B. Hinckley. I forget the title of it, but it is about life's virtues. Mike has really enjoyed reading and so I thought that would be something he could use. I also printed out a missionary poem, which I love. And then I printed off some of my favorite conference talks. I think that sums it up! Now, it's time to ship.

Happy birthday to me and Mikey! And a happy anniversary, too!

Hands

I think I've expressed before my obsession of hands, just the simplicity to them and the rawness. They are always so honest. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like you can see a life in a hand. When you see someone's worn and wrinkly hand, you know they've lived a long and full life. When you see a baby's chubby fist full of hair, you know they are only just beginning.

 

Some people are nail-biters, some thumb-suckers, some piano players. It is amazing what we can do with our hands and I often feel such gratitude towards them.

 

When you become older and arthritic, you may grow to despise your hands and the way they look. I would like to always try to look at the memories and what my hands have been through -- perhaps a fifteen-page, typed-out symposium in grad school, years worth of family-blogging, eulogy-typing, church talks, elementary school lesson plans, white board writing, sand castle-building, present-wrapping, hand-holding, tattoo-getting at the early age of nineteen, hand-written letters to pen pals -- and all of these things will be so worth it. Worth the crooked fingers, the choppy nails, and the wrinkled tattoos. Rather than worry about the way they look, I will be grateful for a life that was so full and so grand that it brought me to these hands. They are mine forever, mine to keep, mine to show when someone asks, "So what's your story?"  

Okay, Change of Plans

Umm so guess what?

I have completely made a change of plans for the year. Yes, I know I have been working on getting accepted to the teaching program at UVU to start in the Fall. But, something has come up - something grand and exciting and oh my heck, I'm so excited.

Wait for it, wait for it....

I am going to CHINA. Yes, you read that correctly. I will be traveling to China this fall for four whole months to teach English to elementary students. How exciting, right? This is a dream and not only that, but I am going with two of my best friends, Jennie and Madi.

Ecstatic is an understatement - a semester off of school, adventures in another country, working with children, seeing the world, flying, making time go faster, etc. It's going to be the most amazing experience ever.

My plan is now to graduate this summer with my AS degree and then I will start my teaching program in the spring of 2015. And get this. Right when we get back, it will be Christmas time and that includes skyping Mike. Then, Natalie gets home a month later. Then, only a short time until Mikey comes home. Sounds perfect to me.

And yes, I was even accepted aready so this is really happening, guys.

 

We've even started shopping for travel pillows.

Here's my best bud and soon to be China Roomie, Madi.

Well, I hope you will follow me on my China adventures. I'll keep my blog updated.

And Yes, We're Old Enough To Drive

Taylor was having a rough week and suggested that we get away for the day on Saturday. We were off to Lava Hot Springs at 3 o'clock and boy were we in for a fantastic night full of laughs! It was a complete downpour the entire way there and we almost crashed several times (hope daddy isn't reading this). We listened to music, had some deep chats, and it was a great ride! Madi had suggested that we wear our matching PJ's that I got all of us for Christmas. Tay objected and did not wear hers. She said they were lost, but really she just didn't want to wear them. When we made it to Lava Hot Springs after two and a half hours of driving, Madi and I were quite embarrassed as we walked into the pizza place with our matching, striped gaucho pants. She insisted on hiding behind me. We were seated and Madi had to go pee. When she came back she was freaking out because I guess there was a mouse hole in the bathroom, a tub, and a cup with mouth wash dripping down the side. How hilarious. We had a delicious BBQ pizza and cheese bread. Tay was embarrassed that we were taking pictures in the restaurant like teenage girls, but we did it anyway. We also people watched. Madi and Tay were so confused about this group of girls by us. They apparently didn't all go together, so we watched them for the majority of our dinner. Oh, but only after we witnessed a lap dance from across the room. Yuck!

 

 

After pizza, we proceeded to the springs. Madi made sure to sprint out of the restaurant ahead of me so that we would not be seen with our matching PJ's. My cotton shoes were soaked already. Who knows why I wore those. It was so wet in that little town. We went to pay when we got to the springs and Madi just started laughing and would not stop. Tears were streaming down her face. Apparently she was laughing at how much longer my pajama pants were than hers, and then she was sad when I told her that I had even gotten her a medium. HA. When we got to the dressing room, I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the two were no where to be found. I was like, "Madi, Taylor, HELLOO!!" They did not answer me of course, so I got dressed on my own and headed out. But then I ended up back in there when I could not find them. They finally popped out of the dressing laughing their butts off. Taylor pretended to feel sorry for me. Putting our stuff in the lockers was a treat! Tay gave us all two quarters, but somehow Madi and I messed it up and had to just leave our stuff in unlocked lockers. It was a little risky, but we were too excited and all out of quarters! The hot springs were great. It was raining and snowing, so your body was half cold, half hot. It felt wonderful and I could have sat in there all night. We tried out a couple different ones, one was not as hot as the other. We had so much fun talking about old times. Apparently I used to be a bully who made Tay NEED a boob job. I once made this picture in jr. high where Tay had indented boobs. To this day, she blames me for the fact that she has to have a boob job. Whatever! We had so much fun and lots of good laughs for a few hours. Madi and Tay were being real dramatic since they were so thirsty. We got out to get some water. It was hilarious because Tay had three dollars and no where to put it, so I was thinking we needed to spend all of the money. They were thinking cheap. So, when we poked our heads into the drink machine, I wanted to get Fiji water. They thought I was insane and they were looking at getting the cheap brand. But we couldn't decide if two 20 oz. bottles or one 1 liter was a better deal. I was getting so embarrassed and when I said, "Guys just hurry up and pick, you're embarrassing me," we heard some chuckles from the background. Lol. We sat in the hot springs for an hour or so after that.

 

The dressing rooms were quite the time. When we got in there, we of course had to take some photos with our 10% batteried phones. Not a good idea. My shutter sound kept going off and Taylor was freaking out, so I said, "People are going to think we're making a porno in here." They were so embarrassed because apparently everyone in the dressing room heard. So many funny things happened in there. Madi even grabbed my butt, which has never ever happened in the life of Madi because we are NOT THAT CLOSE. Yikes. So not that close. Hahaha. Just kidding.

 

Pouty Tay

Ducky Face

Miranda Sings

 

 

So yeah, it was a fun night. A good, fun, exciting, all-around fantastic night with the bests. We got creamies after and then decided we best be heading home with the four percent battery lives left on our phones. It was snowy/rainy and cold. We stopped at a gas station to buy a charger because we were nervous we would get stranded and the lady insisted that we were not old enough to drive. My butt! I soon wandered off to sleep and I am not sure what happened after that. Next thing I knew, we were back at home and getting into Madi's bed.

 

Pretty much I have the best friends in the world. It's nights like this where you laugh so hard, you cry and it's mostly the memories that we will never, ever forget.  





Eighteen

It's so crazy that it has been seven whole months. Here is to reflecting on month eighteen. It has been quite speedy, I must see. It seems like we just celebrated the new year and here we are, the first month has come to a close. I started my last semester at SLCC this month and it is busier than ever. I am enjoying staying busy, though. It keeps my mind off of Mike being away and really does make the time go boy quicker. I have had a lot of struggles this month with some friend stuff that I don't want to get into. But I think all of that is ending and this should be a much better month. It snowed a little and it was freezing mostly. Work has been treating me well. I changed my schedule up a bit and I get off early on Thursdays and Fridays. It worked better with my school schedule. My foot is healing up nicely, although I did fall and thought I jammed it the other night. I think it is fine now though. *I hope.* I bought a lot of movies. That's for sure. I also took the Praxis this month. I passed Math and English, but not Social Studies and Science. I will be retaking those two sections, boooo!!! Anywho... enough about me. 

Things have been great for Mike, or at least they seem like they have been to me. I think he is just a really positive person. He was with Elder Lee all month and still is in Negril. He seems to really like the area, but it is very small. I think a lot of the times, they run out of people to teach. Their ward consists of only about 30 members. That is so small. They need to get about 50-60 to get a ward house. Mike really wants to get there. They were teaching this girl Zoy this month and she was going to get baptized, but it fell through since her mom did not approve. Mike was disappointed, but she will get baptized when she turns 18 in June. Mike wrecked on his bike this month and scraped up his leg. He says he is okay, but we all worry. I hate it! But I guess things happen. He seemed really down to me this week, but I don't know if it's just me. I think he is disappointed. I think he is wonderful and I wish that he could see that about himself. 

What a great month! Here's to a new one and maybe even a better one. I would like to share my monthly memory. This is one that I shared with Mike this week for our weekly memories that we do. I can't remember exactly when this was, but it was in the fall of 2012 sometime and we were celebrating one of our month anniversaries. He was in St. George for school, but was coming down for the weekend. He came and picked me up and he had made something for me. It was an idea that he had gotten off of MY pinterest. How clever of him. So he gave me this jar with 50 "Reeses" why I love you. It was adorable and definitely one of his most thoughtful gifts. We went to Chili's and there I gave him what I had made. I guess we are both crafty ones! I had gotten a deck of cards and had written things I loved about him/memories on each card. He loved it. We had such a great night. I had missed him. 

Well, 7 months down! 17 more to go, folks! Hang in. We're in for a ride. It's not over yet. We're still climbing the hill of the roller coaster. Ta-ta. 

Here is my completely nerdy picture to represent month 18.  Goodbye month 18, you will not be missed.