A chapter of my life is closing - I like to think of that chapter as the carefree child, adolescent and then teenager. But I guess I was never really the carefree type. "She was born mature," they all say. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I agree with that. I guess everyone thought that because of the way I took care of my siblings and I folded my socks down around my ankles twenty-four times before leaving the house (they had to be perfect, don't ya know?). I was always so serious and still am, but have tried to "let my hair down" a little - I don't want to be the serious one.
I feel like I have accomplished a lot in these two decades of life. I will never learn more than I did in these twenty years. I started off as a small baby, just being born. I learned to walk, talk, eat, sleep, and even go potty in the "big toilet." I learned to read and then I learned and learned (or memorized and memorized) all of the things that we need to know in school. I also grew. I grew and grew from that little tiny body to a now adult who has to do adult things and live an adult life. I find it pretty amazing how much change can occur in just twenty years. I have definitely been blessed and I think I have always realized that.
I have to give the majority of the credit to my adoring parents for loving me. That's what a child truly needs and they will grow leaps and bounds. My dad was the first one to make me feel beautiful and he has always made me seem better than I really am. My mom has been there through it all and she has watched me go through every little thing. She is the most selfless person I know. I am so grateful for my siblings. They are each so special to me in their own way. Payt is so hilarious and so caring. I am so lucky to have a sister so close in age. There is never a dull moment when Davis is around and I am proud of him for finding the person he wants to be. Ash is the sweetest person. I can't believe how much she has grown up in the past year. She will always be my baby sister, though. Patty is still the baby of the family and I love the crap out of him. He is one amazing person. I have to give credit to my grandparents, on both sides. My dad's parents have been there through and through, to every little thing I have done to show their support. They are both very wise and I know that I can go to them for anything. My mom's dad has always lived out of the state, but he has made it a priority to always come out for visits. I am so grateful for him and my great grandpa, who is hilarious and always accompanies him. It's always a grand time. My grandpa also helped me buy my first car and that was such a blessing to me. I am thankful for my mom's mother, my grandma. I know I do not see her much, but when I do she has shown me love and a different way of life. I have learned so much from their situation. I am thankful for all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some are out of state, some in Utah. But I love them all the same. I have very fond memories of all of us cousins playing as children - memories that will never leave me. They hold a special place in my heart. I am thankful for great grandparents who have passed on, some who I did not really have a chance to make a relationship with, but I know I will have the chance someday. I would like to give a lot of credit to all of my many many friends I have had throughout life. They have all shaped me in some way and they have all taught me something. I am very grateful for the friends who have stuck by me, who still love me when it seems no one else does. I am grateful for Taylor, for always making sure I'm okay and for showing me how to be a good friend. I am grateful for Natalie, who is not here, but she has been such a wonderful friend and I know that will continue on when she gets home. For Jennie, for being so sweet and always having a listening ear. For Cadee, who I love but rarely ever see. I have to give a special thanks to Madi, whom I have been through it all with. She has been my shoulder to cry on, my procrastinator go-to, my best friend. She is also the most thoughtful person I know and she has taught me so much. We are the six best friends and I love them. Madi's parents, Glade and Jessi, also have a special place in my heart and I think of them as my second parents. I am thankful for Mike's family, The Peters - Tim, Jorjann, and Erika. They have all taught me so much and they have welcomed me with open arms and open hearts. I am especially thankful for Mike for loving me at my lowest and my highest and for teaching me how to love. He is the one I plan to spend forever with - he's my love, the one I confide in, and he's my heart, my heart, my heart. I have to thank all of my teachers, my dance mentors, my leaders, anyone who has impacted my life in any way. And if I have not mentioned someone, I am thankful for you.
I have so much to be grateful for. My heart is full. I know that as I take on this next chapter in life... let's say the next twenty years, I will constantly look back to this chapter for advice, for help through my struggles and my tears. I have a couple days left in this chapter, so I think I should do something good, make someone smile, be friendlier and a better listener. Oh, and perhaps I'll pull out my old pink ballet slippers, squeeze them on, twirl around, and place them back in the box. Once I do that, I just might be able to end this chapter with a smile and a heart full of love. But it's not "the end." It's really only the beginning.
Who knows, maybe in twenty years, I'll make another blog post. That's scary... I could have a few grey hairs by then. No, let's not think about that. Here's to being young and 20!
I love you all, every one of you.
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