My More Selfless Half

Today was a really really good email day. I love those emails that just make you so happy inside. I am keeping them all in a book for us. It will be wonderful to have them when we get older. My Monday routine usually includes me "trying" to work as I impatiently wait for Mike's name to pop up on my phone. I then quickly read through his email when I receive it. It always makes me so happy. I can then start working, even though I have already been there for over half the day. Yes, I have to rush through the rest of my to-do's. It's okay, though. I can never concentrate before that. It is near impossible. After work, I drive home while listening to my music. When I get home, I print out our emails and put them in our "pen pal" book, making sure to include the date and the number of the email. I then hand write our weekly memories that we shared with one another in our memory journal. Then, I also record those same memories on the "memory lane" tab of my blog. Then, I usually reread the email from him and miss him like crazy. That is exactly how every Monday goes for me. I will have my Mondays like this for two years. Crazy, I know. But this is all so worth it. I love the relationship we have built through our letters and emails. It is so special. Our relationship will be ten times what it was when we said "see you later." I know it and so does he. We are in this entirely together.

Today Mike told me how he is trying to write a Preach My Gospel (Member Edition). Isn't that amazing? He is so great. If he can do that, it will help out so many people. It will bring our members closer to Christ as they bring others closer to Christ. Mike is not thinking of himself at all, but about the people and how he can better their lives and relationship to Christ.

I loved when Mike told me that he wanted to marry me when he left and how he has had that confirmed to him throughout his entire mission. He said that he falls more and more in love with me each day. It's crazy to think that you can fall in love with someone more when you are not even around them. He is so precious to me and I can't wait for our fairy tale to begin. Our day will come and we both know it. But we also both know that this is what we need to be doing at this time in our lives. Mike and I are so blessed to be on this journey together. I love him and his selflessness. Time is precious.

The Feat: Music Is My Safe Place

This article of The Feat is brought to you from the love of music and Kenzie's silly feet. I don't know about you, but I love music. Music is such a large part of my life. I used to call myself a dancer. I would love to express my emotions through my movement. It was something that I lived for. Often times, I really miss dancing and I want to go back to that simpler time in my life. But now I am at a different time in my life and music still plays such a huge part. You know when you find a song and you listen to it several times and then you make yourself sick of it? Or sometimes you find that song that you just never seem to get sick of? Well music works in interesting ways. Music can bring out such strong emotions for everyone. That is why we have music in movies. What would a movie be without it? It would definitely not be the same. It makes life... well, life. We may not realize how much of a difference that it makes. Often times when I am having a rough day, I like to put my headphones on and tune out of the world. I am able to escape for just a moment and live through that song. Each day when I drive to work, I like to put my headphones on and listen to my favorite songs. It makes my long commute bearable. I enjoy that time. I look forward to my moments alone with my music. It is beautiful. I love a peaceful bedtime lullaby sang by a mother to her newborn child, a beautiful hymn sang in the chapel, a song to lift up the spirits of people in the room, a soft song to help you fall asleep, a song played as two newlyweds dance on their wedding night, music in the background as I watch fireworks on the Fourth of July. Imagine all of these beautiful moments without music. Perhaps they wouldn't be so beautiful. 

Thanks for tuning in to The Feat. Be back again soon. 

Inked

So, I may have gotten a little messy with some ink. Okay, I may have permanently "inked" myself. So, last week my dear friend, Madi, suggested that we get tattoos and I agreed that we could get best friend tattoos. When I get something in my head that I want to do, I have to do it right then and there. Madi, on the other hand, has to think about it. It was Wednesday of last week. We had talked about tattoos the night before. That day I wanted to get one. I wanted to get the outline of a heart on my finger. I realized that many people have that and I wanted to be different. So, I found a triangle. A triangle represents strong foundation and stability. That is what brought me to my decision to get an outline of a small triangle on the side of my right ring finger. I took Ryan, Cody, and Madi along with me. It was quite the time. I never imagined myself to be standing in a tattoo shop. But, I did it. I got my triangle. Proud? I hope so. Random, I know.

So, yeah. There is my triangle. Now, it didn't stop there. On my way to get my itty bitty, favorite triangle, I was contemplating "forever" on the side of a finger. Now, I was already too scared to get the triangle, so I decided to just get one. I immediately wished I would have gotten it after. Then me being my "I have to have it now" self, had my parents go with me to get it the next day after work. I know, I'm crazy. 

So, here's the second. Yep, two in two days. Trust me, I'm done. I'm not a big tattoo fan. 

There is still a bit of the purple stencil stuck on my finger, so that's what that is. It is still in the healing and perfecting process. I love them, though. I am very happy with my decision. Here is a picture of my hand. You can kind of get an idea of where they are. This is my right hand. Forever is on the left side of my middle finger. The triangle is on the right side of my ring finger. Sorry for the the pumpkin carving finger nails. It's gross, I know.

So, that's pretty much the craziest thing that I have done lately. I know my life is so exciting! I was kind of nervous to tell Mikey. But, he was just as I thought he would be. He explained that he will support me in my decisions and he will always love me. I have my own agency. He is seriously the best guy I know. I love him with my whole heart. 

Sincerely, and inked hand

Chapter One: Hands

Lately I have had this slight obsession with hands. Yep, you heard it. I love hands. I love an elderly person's wrinkly and worn hand, an infant's chubby grip, or a teenager's fully grown, young hand. I love them for all that they are. What would we do without them? Whether they are playing the keys on a piano, making a sandwich, stroking another's hair, typing, writing, sewing, they are definitely not good for nothing.

I love them.

Now, I do have a point to this. After all, this is the first chapter in the story of me and Mike. And I guess you could say that it all started out with hands. That is usually the first physical move when you like another human being, is the touching and holding of hands. It's a very miraculous feeling that you can have. It's something to do with a whole lot of butterflies in your stomach and you are suddenly wiped clean of all common sense. Yep, that's love for ya. Now, I shall start my story. Don't worry, we'll get to "hands."

Mike and I went to all of high school together. We always knew of each other, but nothing ever happened. He does mention all of the time now that in our sophomore year of seminary, he had a small crush on me and he just felt something but never acted upon it.

Well, I worked at Chick-fil-A. Lame, I know.

It was just an average day at work in February of 2012, which was my senior year in high schoool. My two friends, Maddy Thompson and Linsey Rogerson came flying in saying that I was going on a date. Well, okay! They said that Jared Hancock needed a date and that I needed to ask him. He was a boy that I had gone to all of junior high and high school with. It was the girls asking the guys. So, when I got off work, I asked him! We all met over at Shalai's. First, we had some pizza. Then, we went to Nickelcade. It was so much fun! The other people that were on the date were Shalai Matagi and Mike Peters, Linsey Rogerson and Isaac Harwood, Maddy Thompson and Austin Farnsworth, and then me and Jared Hancock. When we were done at Nickelcade, we went back to Shalai's house and played Catch Phrase and some other fun games. During catch phrase I sat in the middle of Mike and Jared. Mike kept helping me as we were playing the game. Anyway, the night was fun. I had drove, so I took Jared and Mike home with Shalai. We had to drop Jared off first because Mike needed to get a snow shovel from his house. So, we were all kind of joking about that and how he urgently needed that shovel. Hilarious! Then, we dropped Mike off. When he got out, he opened the door where I was sitting and thanked me for the ride. I thought that was really nice. On the way to take Shalai home we talked about how we both weren't really into our dates. So, yes... I did think that Mike was cute and I knew there was somethin' there. (I didn't tell her that.)

 I remember the next day, Mike texted me saying, "Thanks again for the ride." Who does that? I knew that he just wanted to talk to me. ;) He would text me every once in a while after that and there wasn't really anything. He even says that sometimes I wouldn't text him back. I don't really believe him, but whatever!

Towards the end of that month, I was surprised one night with a call from Jared asking me if I had been asked to Junior Prom, which was coming up in March. I told him no and then got off the phone. I knew that something was up. About ten minutes later there was a knock at my door and I went outside. Four boys dressed in banana suits got out of the car and danced to the bananas song by Britney Spears. LOL. It was hilarious. One of them yelled, telling me to look on the porch. That's where I saw this banana:

It reads, "Kenzie, I would go "bananas" if you went to Jr. Prom with me. -Mike P."

I was so excited, needless to say!! This was my first dance that I had actually been asked to. Yes, I know that's sad. I knew it would be a great time with him!

I had a trip that I was going on with Dance Company before Jr. Prom. I remember, it was the night before I left and I was at work. He came in when I got off and he brought me my favorite, chocolate licorice and a letter. The letter just told me about fun things that I needed to do in San Fran while I was there and that he was excited for Jr. Prom and such. It was very thoughtful of him. I think I died! We talked a bunch also while I was on trip. :) So, I went to San Fran. When I got back, I wrote him a letter and talked about my trip and what not. Then, a couple days later, I won a gift card to Applebee's at a Chick-fil-A banquet. I immediately knew that I wanted to invite him to go with me. I thought it would be good for us to go on a date before Jr. Prom. Ya know? So, we invited Madi to come with a date. She invited this guy, Isaiah. That night was great and I think we really hit it off. I knew that I really liked Mike at this point.

The night before Jr. Prom, my friend Cadee had set all of us girls up on this fun date. I went with Chris Bietzel. It was not the best date. Honestly, all I could think about was Mike and how I would go with him the next day.

March 17th was Jr. Prom and it was a blast! Mike had a polo game in the day, which made it so we couldn't go with the group to the day activity. I was kind of upset about it at first, but once it had all played out, I was glad to spend some time with just him. We went to Village Inn for breakfast and then to his game. After that, we went to get ice cream at Ab's. That is when I learned that he does not eat sweets. He did not go to get ice cream for him, but for me. The polo game was cool to see and I even met his fam. It was kind of awkward to pretty much see him naked in his speedo on one of our first dates. LOL. So then, he took me home after Ab's and I got ready. He picked me up and we went to the Spaghetti Factory and then the dance. It was all so fun. And I was glad to see that he actually liked to dance at a dance! I thought it was very sweet when my best friend Natalie's date went to the bathroom and then missed a slow dance. Mike let Natalie dance with us. I loved that he did that. After the dance, we stopped at his house and his family took pictures and then we went over to Jared's. The moms set up all of this fruit and sweets to dip in chocolate. It was great. Then we watched Prom Night. It was Mike's first time and he was pretty scared. And then... he held my hand (cue butterflies). It was the best feeling. Everything was so special and it felt good just to be so close to him. I even got to say happy birthday to him at midnight. I was first! It made me so happy. After the movie, he took me home and walked me to my door. We hugged and said goodbye. What an amazing night!! All of my friends thought he would kiss me, but he did not. I was happy. It was too soon for us to do that.





So, I guess you could say that this is what started it all.

Right off the bat, it was like I knew that I loved this guy and that I would be with him forever. I immediately started to journal everything and cherish every moment.

A couple nights later, Mike asked me if I liked pie. Of course I do. He does not like pie, but he asked if I would want to go to pie night at Village Inn. I remember he picked me up after he had gone to something for church. He was dressed nice when he came to pick me up. He was beautiful. We talked in the car and when we got out of the car at Village Inn, we walked in and he put his arm around me. He said, "It's really great to see you tonight." That is seriously my favorite moment in all of history. I get chills when I think about it. At that point, it was just so innocent and beautiful. Honestly, I already felt like I loved him at this point. Mind you that this was only our second date. I could just feel it.

I guess the rest is history...
Well, we started to not date other people and hang out a lot! We saw each other at school every day and we did stuff after school most days of the week. It was so fun. He never asked me to be his girlfriend, it just happened. I ended up asking him to Sr. Ball and I did it quick before anyone else got to him. I could go on and on about that night and all of its perfection. We danced the night away! Mike was even crowned Duke. That was cool, but he did have to dance with another girl for the ONLY slow danced. I was kind of bummed. But, the whole night was just perfect, as I said. One moment I love to look back on was when we were driving home. I remember we sat in the back of Madi's Expedition. Mike took off his suit jacket and lay his head on my lap. I remember we were so sweaty and it was nice to feel the cool breeze as we drove with the windows down. I remember stroking his wet hair and we were just staring at each other. It was the perfect moment and I will always remember it. Oh, we were so in love already. I knew it. So, that was in May.



We graduated together in June 2012 and that summer was one that I will never forget. We spent so much time together. It was always so fun when I was with him. We were together almost everyday. But, the summer went by fast and it was time for college. Mike had been planning to go to Dixie and he was still going. I was staying here and going to Salt Lake Community College. It was so hard to take him down there and say goodbye. Mine and Madi's family came with and we all stayed in a hotel together so that I could have my last weekend with Mike before school started. We did have a bit of a rough patch as Mike had a hard time balancing having me and his family there. We had our first big fight, but then we worked it out and had a wonderful last night together. We were just both having so many emotions and it was hard to leave each other. But we have made it work and it has prepared us for his mission. He came down so much during the school year on weekends and for a month during December. It wasn't too bad. My friends and I even went down to see him one weekend. That was way fun! All I know is that distance really makes you realize that you need to cherish the time that you do have together. Also, I would like to thank technology (long phone calls, texting, skyping, emailing, etc.). How hard this journey has been!

 Mike received his call in February to go to Kingston, Jamaica on July 3rd. It was an emotional roller coaster for me after that. School really took the back burner. I just wanted to spend so much time with him, but it was hard since he was away at college. I had really bad anxiety. I missed him so much.

On March 17th, we celebrated one year together and we decided to make it a tradition to go to our place, Village Inn on that day every year. That is where we went to breakfast for Junior Prom and it was really a special place for us. It kind of took us back. I remember Mike picked me up early that morning. We loved our date and we really cherished every moment. We knew that it would be the last anniversary that we would celebrate together for two years. I felt sad, but I tried to brush that aside. It was a lovely morning. We both got our normal VIB meals and had wonderful conversation. It was wonderful to be with my love at our favorite place.

Later in March, he gave me the promise ring that we had been looking at. It is a beautiful pearl.

He was dropping me off before heading back to St. George and he pulled it out of his bag. Of course we both started crying. He told me how he loved me so much and he knew that I would wait for him and we would be together when he returned. He trusts me and that is what I love. We both cried. It was a wonderful day.

In April, my friends and I decided to surprise Mike and go to St. George. I pretty much ruined the surprise, but it was definitely a wonderful weekend. We stayed in the Condie's condo. It was very relaxing and Mike and I really needed that time together. I remember when we were just lying on the bed and held each other for the first time in weeks, it just felt so good. I could not get enough of him. We stood on the stairs and kissed for so long when it was time to say goodbye. We really could not stop and I didn't know how I was going to leave him. To read more about the surprise, the blog post about that is here.

Yes, we made it through the school year. I think at this time, we really had learned that we were supposed to be together. Afterall, we had made it through that whole year. We knew that we could definitely take on his two year mission.

Our love is beautiful. It is something that I never imagined having in my life. I always imagined what love would feel like. It is unexplainable. If you can explain it, it really is not love. I love our hands. I love when they meet. There is such passion in hands. I especially love his crooked hands, one hand being with a small mole on his index finger. Oh, how I love that mole. Oh, how I love him.

Watch out for Chapter Two: Cherished - that will be all about our last two months before the mission, the months that we will never forget.

Cent Jour

That's right, it's been 100 whole days that Mikey has been gone. Cent Jour means 100 days in French, just in case you were wondering. I sure do love my french vocabulary.

I am so happy to overcome such a huge milestone. It has been one 100 whole days since I have seen, held, kissed, hugged, laughed with, cried with, smiled with, and felt the love that we share. I can still feel it in my heart, but it is pretty darn far away. He really took me far away with him.

There are difficult times where I simply want to give up because it seems impossible that the time for him to actually come home will come. But yes, of course it will come. The only way it wouldn't is if time stopped or something drastic of that sort. Obviously that won't happen. He will come home. We will meet again and take on the world together. We will see each other again. For now, we hold on tight to what we have. We won't lose that.

Mike is kind of going through a rough patch right now. He is just going into his third transfer and is getting his second companion. He really got along well with Elder Clarke. He's taking it pretty hard and feels very inadequate and alone. I know that things will start to look up for him. He is the most amazing person. Anything he sets his mind to will be done. I know that and I have faith in him and his goodness. He is doing so much for the wonderful Jamaicans and I know that they all love him and are so thankful for his sweet spirit abiding there with them. What a wonderful opportunity it is for me to be on this journey right along side of him... okay, so maybe 2,613.5 miles between us, but I'm definitely still beside him. And he is still beside me, always. I am so lucky.

At this moment there are six billion, five hundred and two million, eight hundred and sixty seven thousand, one hundred and twenty people in the world, give or take a few and sometimes all you need is one. For better or for worse.- Lucas Scott One Tree Hill

Here's a picture. This is exactly what I'll be looking like today as I celebrate this milestone! LOL. I'm so happy.

 

We can do this. Here's to the next 100 days. Let's take this on together, Mikey. I love you, forever and always.

Friday Night Lights

It was just your normal Friday night. We were just going to do what friends normally do - maybe hang out, watch a movie, paint nails... ya know, the usual. Jennie and Will had talked about going to Park City for the evening, so we made the plans. It sure sounded like a real magical adventure to me. When we all got home from work, Madi and Jennie were both not in the best mood and they were being quite snappy. Neither of them really wanted to go, but Will really did and we had already invited Josh to meet us at 6:30. We all bucked up and went. It was decided that it would be a good time. The whole night ended up being a blast. Will drove his mini van and many jokes were spouted by all about that. We got to walk around (yes, it was freezing) and look in some shops. Madi bought a hat that she has wanted for a while and continued to ask people if they liked her hat. What a goof. Look how cute she is posing.

Yes, she took forever to decide if she wanted it and yes, she spent twenty-five bucks. She does love it, though. That's always a good thing. Jennie had her new camera that Will just recently surprised her with. It is very nice so we were all playing around with that. Madi even got a picture of me using the beauty, looking a whole lot like Hailey Devine, my hero.

 After looking and looking for a great place to eat, we decided on a nice little pizza joint. There was live music being played as well. Madi was in love with the atmosphere, to say the least. She was very disappointed as the worker led us to a quiet back room with tables. Jennie asked the waiter if we could sit out by the music since it was Madi's lifelong dream. Giant LOL right there. He chuckled and had us follow him back out to the front. Pizza was great and you can't forget the cheese bread! Madi even left the singer a fifty dollar tip. She has always wanted to leave someone a big tip and that was a perfect opportunity since he helped her cross something off of her bucket list. He was awesome and so adorable! After dinner, we danced in the alley ways and took some more pictures. We even went in a lovely little bookstore that had a cat pawing around in there! Yes, you heard that right, a cat. It was like a bookstore out of a movie. Next thing on the to do's of the night was hot tubbing! We sneaked into very nice hotel in two groups. The hot tub was the best. We all started to get a little scared after about a half hour and then sneaked our little way back out of there just like we came in. We came out alive! Worst hotel we could have done that in... picked by our wondrous Jennie and Will. Good thing we are still here and breathing. The drive home was nice as we had the toasty heater on. What a wonderful, wonderful evening! I think it was much needed for all of us. Here are some more pictures.

 

I slept at Jennie and Madi's. We fell asleep pretty fast. I had to get some blood work done in the morning, so they went with me in case I could not drive after. I ended up being just fine and we even went to Kneader's after. SO yummy! We got the french toast and some caramel apples for later. Next stop, Target. Yes, that is where we spend all of our savings. It was so fun trying on clothes and buying a bunch of clearance items. We adore Target. 

We cleaned their apartment after our weekly trip to Targ. Well I guess I should say they did. I really slept most of the time. Later, Jennie bawled because she didn't know if she should go do something with Will's sisters or not. She was between a rock and a hard spot. She really just did not feel like going. I know the feeling that she was having. It was hilarious though. She ended up going after we went to Chickfila first. Yes, it was a high calorie weekend. I better get back to my better eating habits and running this week. 

I love these two. 

Conference was lovely this weekend. Well, what I listened to. I will be going back and listening to the missed sessions. 

Update: Yes, I also lost my debit card in the Walmart parking lot this weekend.. Don't ask me how because I don't even know. 

What a wonderful weekend. Well, besides the stupid debit card fiasco. But, I just go on and say life happens! Any way, a new shiny one is on its way to my place as we speak. 

Ta-ta for now blog. 

Twenty Two

I am so happy to announce that month twenty two is now complete. Check! People always say that the third month is the longest. I definitely have to agree with that one! It has dragged on. But, now I am onto the fourth month. I am thinking this one will go by much quicker. Mike is doing awesome. This month, he was still with Elder Clarke. He is still on his second transfer, which will be ending here very soon. Mike has taught so many people and he is loving every second of every day - or so it seems. This last week of the month I did not receive an email and neither did his family. It was very disappointing, but I understand that he is busy. I hope to hear from him next Monday. Mike and Elder Clarke took a young 13 year-old boy out to teach with them one Saturday. I thought that was really awesome that they did that. I think they will continue to do so. Mike and I have started to play tic tac toe also. We each make a move each week. It has been so fun! We will see how many games we can play before he gets back. We heart games. :) I got a promotion at work and school is going well! I had dinner with his family one Sunday this month and it was delicious! I had so much fun with them. There is a blog post on that. I also helped Erika get ready for her first high school dance! There is also a blog post on that. ALSO, his family and I sent over a huge package! He has probably received it by now. What a crazy month! I miss Mike so much, but things are getting easier and our relationship only grows stronger.

Now, for the monthly memory.

I remember one night we went and listened to a fireside downtown at temple square. After which, all of our friends were mingling and and talking to other people. Mike and I are not really big minglers. It is just not really in our nature AND especially when we are together, we really just focus on each other. I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing. LOL. Anyway, so we went and parked ourselves on a bench as we watched everyone flock together to talk. We decided to go walk around temple square. I remember we sat by the reflection pond. It was so quiet and peaceful. Then we walked around some more and danced under the darkness. We would stop just to kiss each other every once in a while and just hold each other. I remember that night, I was thinking about our wedding that would take place there in about four years. It was a beautiful time in life and Mike and I were so in love and still are, even more so now. It was a beautiful night. Mike and I really enjoy each other's company and we do really well just the two of us. That is really how we like it and we would be just fine with that. After we met back up with our friends, I remember Mike and I skipped ahead and down all of these stairs, holding hands and laughing like young children. I didn't care about anything but him that night. It is such a fond memory that I hold dear to me.

I am so glad to say three months down, twenty one more to go! Pretty soon I will be out of the twenties. Here's to another month. I hope it flies. It's just one step closer to our happily ever after.