Strawberry Milk

Strawberry milk is not something I drink on a daily basis, but when I do I love it. And tonight as I was sipping (no, guzzling) my strawberry milk, I thought of something. 

You know when you mix flavor into a drink, you get to the last sip and you can see the remnants in the bottom? They just never seem to be fully gone. You can never quite drink it all up. Even when you just drink water, there always seems to be a drop at least, in the bottom.

So, I thought of something. We always leave marks on people. When you meet someone, you leave a mark - whether it's teeny tiny, or huge - you leave a mark. 

It's like when you pour that strawberry milk in a glass, you can't seem to get rid of that last little bit. That's the mark you left. So, to get to the point, we have to make sure to leave a good mark, one that will change a life or maybe just a day (in a good way). Just be kind. I know I should take my own advice because sometimes I'm just not in the mood, but be careful, cause that bad mood sticks, just like the strawberry syrup at the bottom of the Christmas mug. 

Grandma L

I think it's time to talk about the harder things.

I haven't blogged for a bit, so it's time. I have to say that these past couple of weeks have been a blur. They have been scary, exhausting, trying, but most of all, full of so much love. A couple of weeks ago, we were over at my grandparents for a regular visit when they told us they need to tell us something. My grandpa talked about how the day after my birthday party, my grandma started getting really sick. She had been sick ever since August, but this time it was worse. Days went by and they decided to go to the hospital. The doctor warned them that there was not much more that could be done for her lungs and that she might not have much longer. He also had them write up a living will. This was all so hard for me to hear. It was devastating. My grandparents have always been in my life and I just always thought they would be. It was a hard weekend, but I spent as much time as I could over there. It was nice to see all of the family come together that weekend. I honestly thought that was it. Grandma seemed to only be getting worse. We were all hopeful, but it was hard to see her so miserable.

This past week, she ended up getting so bad that they took her to the hospital. That was on Wednesday this week. I missed class to go be there with her. It broke my heart to walk in the emergency room and see her having such a hard time on the BiPap. It is a massive breathing treatment pretty much. She seemed to be in pretty bad shape.

Anyway, I have been going to the hospital every day to check up on her and she has actually been improving so much. She has been the happiest I have ever seen her. And it is great to see her enjoying her food so much at the hospital. She really wasn't eating much and she had lost so much weight. Her favorite is the breakfast - she always has fruit, oatmeal/cream o' wheat, and bacon. She is so full of love for people. One night it was just her and I there talking. She talked to me for over an hour. I just listened. I learned so much from her. I looked at life in a different way that night. I stopped worrying about all of the petty things, at least for that moment.

None of us really know what is to come with all of this. But if there is anything that I have learned, it is love. I have grown so close to my grandma these past couple of weeks. We were already close, but we have become even closer. I have learned the important things. I also look at the patience my grandpa has. He is so selfless in taking care of grandma. That is what true love is all about and I hope to have that when I am older.

Another thing I have learned is that you can never take anyone for granted. Who knows when someone you love will pass on. We have to just love each other and make sure to tell them. I hope my grandparents know how much I love them.

I am so grateful to have the grandparents I do. I am grateful for the time I have been able to spend with them. Maybe life and school have taken the back-burner, but that's okay. I think I have a good excuse.

Grandma's still in the hospital, but she should be leaving soon. But I'll miss the hospital. I just love it there. There's always so much love in a hospital. And I love the smell there. It's such a nostalgic feeling.

So Much More Than a Day of Pinches

Happy St. Patrick's Day, all! I hope you're wearing green so you don't get a pinch. I know I'm not wearing green - maybe it's because I forgot... or maybe it's because I don't care to. Two years ago, this day became so much more than a day full of corn beef and cabbage, green clothing, green earrings, and PINCHES.

Two years ago today, Mike and I went to Junior Prom. It was a day I will never forget and certainly a day that changed my life forever. For the better? Uh, who are we kidding! YES. Mike and I decided that we would start a tradition for our special day. Two words - Village Inn. Three words - our favorite place. Village Inn is kind of like our second home. We are foodies. No, that's just the place we went to for breakfast on Junior Prom day. So, last year, Mike came to my house and drug my tired bum out of bed so we could go get our usual VIB meals. And no, we don't just go there on March 17th. We go there quite often. It has such a nostalgic sense to it. I always see the booth where we shared our first meal together, our first laughs, our first date awkwardness, and our first memories. It is just so s p e c i a l. Village Inn is also the place we went on July 2nd, a very very hard day - the day we had to say "see ya later." So I guess you could say that it's more than just your mom and pop breakfast place, at least for us.

Of course since Mike is gone this year, I will have to go there myself. But perhaps I will feel closer to him there. It's like a part of him rests there. I love him. I love his soul, his heart. He's my heart and my whole life. I can't wait for his return. I can't wait to be able to laugh over our breakfast together, to hold hands across the table, and make more memories.

 

Happy Anniversary, my love. Here's to many many more years to come!

On R E A L I Z I N G

So I think I really realized something last night. It's really interesting when you take a step back from a situation - you can have a completely different perspective. Back when Mike and I only had a couple months left, marriage was a topic of conversation and it was also something that we did not agree on. I was (and still am) just so excited and it was something I thought about a lot. Mike, however felt like we should prepare more. We both knew that we would marry each other, we just could not agree on the when part. I wanted it sooner, he thought we should wait. And at the time, I really had a problem with it. I was often times offended by it, feeling like he just didn't want to marry me and he wasn't sure about me. But that wasn't it at all because when I would tell him I was feeling that way he would get so upset that I was doubting his love for me. He would tell me it's nothing against me, but I was stubborn. It's just how I am.

It took me until last night to go all the way back to two months before he left in our messages. I read through our arguments, our good times, and everything else. That is when I realized that I had completely misunderstood him the entire time. I was being selfish.

So, today Mike and I got to email back and forth for about forty minutes. That was so wonderful and much needed. I apologized about how I had acted in the past and he told me not to worry because he was a child back then. He expressed that he is still scared to get married, just because you're growing up, you have to worry about bills and making your own living - all the grownup stuff. He told me that he is so excited for us to get married, just scared for all of those grownup things. It was so reassuring to me, so calming. I never really understood him until today. And now that I do, I feel like a weight is lifted off of my shoulders.

I let him know that we don't have to get married right away when he returns. I honestly think we should finish our schooling first. It would only be two years. After all, we would be together and that's all that matters. There is no rush. But I just made sure he knew how sorry I was for misunderstanding, for not taking the time to listen.

And someday soon, we'll get married and we will start our own little adventure, just the two of us - M & K.

I love him. And you know, I really love this journey we are on. It's beautiful, refreshing, and just such a learning experience. We will both be better for it.

And plus, he's hilarious, he lets me laugh at him, cry with him, AND he gives me his desserts (cause he doesn't like them). I love what he said at the end of his email today. "I love everything about you. Your attitude towards life, your shortness, your desires, your smile, your humor, etc. I didn't just put etc. because I ran out of things to say. By the way does any one know how to spell etc.? I think I can do it. Et cetera. I did it! A latin expression meaning "and other things."

The Hanger Battle - It's Always Awesome

This post is brought to you by three sisters and way too many unworn clothes - OH, and not nearly enough hangers. And I do not say that with any exaggeration in my voice. I don't know if you have ever experienced a disappearance of hangers such as I. But mine is bad. It's so bad that I almost would like to spend the money to have the FBI come do an investigation. Okay, or maybe it would be a better idea to just go buy M O R E hangers.

 

 

So my two younger sisters are beautiful and wonderful, BUT they each have one flaw - I believe they are hanger thieves. And that in itself is a very bad habit, because if you steal hangers, you are more inclined to start stealing better things, like Kit Kat bars at the grocery store or flat screen T.V.'s at Best Buy. It's not good and to say I'm worried would be an understatement.

 

Let me explain how this happens. I do my laundry about every two weeks. Somehow, I will hang up all of my clothes, having enough hangers. In fact, I will even have extra hangers! Then, a couple weeks later when I go to do my laundry again, I suddenly do not even have enough to hang up my clothes. There are always two culprits and they BOTH always deny it. What on earth! So, I give up on trying to play FBI agent. I take fingerprint samples and everything, but it just takes too much time and why would I want to be invested in something so petty? Well, so then I head on over to Target and buy another pack of hangers - - an 18 pack! When I hang up my clothes, I then have a ton of extra hangers. Perfect. Nope, the next time I do my laundry, I have again run out of hangers. So, who do we blame? Who is the culprit?

 

Suspect one: An almost 18 year-old sister who still hangs her sixth-grade shirts due to a hoarding problem. She also wears my clothes. She takes the hanger with it and then when she gives the clothing item back, she seems to forget to give the HANGER back, too.

 

or

 

Suspect two: A 13-year-old sister who did not used to hang up her clothes, but now does and seems to magically have hundreds of hangers (keep in mind that my mom has only bought her a couple of packs of hangers - some of those have to be mine). She also seems to hang up clothes that she would NEVER wear. Such a waste of a perfectly good hanger.

 

So, who is it? Who do I blame. Here are their replies when I ask them. Payton - "I may have taken 1 or 2." (One or two?? Seriously, try 20!!) Ashley - "I swear on Preston's life that I did not take any!"

 

Let's take a vote. Who do YOU think is the hanger thief? Suspect One - Hoarder Harry or Suspect Two - Wasteful Wanda?

 

 

 

 

Oh, and just a P.S. - this is my mom when the hanger wars begin. She gets quite the kick out of it.

 

 

Sincerely, a not-so-much-of-a-hanger-thief (okay, maybe just a couple times)

Not Easy, Not Ever Is It Going to Be Either

I think it's really difficult to express to someone how you are feeling. The particular journey that I am on is especially hard for someone to understand. It's something I've struggled with, and lately I have realized that it is not anyone else's journey to understand. So, they don't have to get it. But it always helps to have people listen and try to understand.

Waiting on a missionary is hard and it is never easy - not at any point in the journey will it be either. You have to realize that. There are times that will feel easier of course. The whole journey is not supposed to be a deep hole of self-pity wallering. No, not at all - at least for me. But it's what is on the inside (your thoughts) and it is hard.

Something I have learned is that you have to try to stay positive, no matter what. Just always look at the positive. Something else you have to do is not read into things too deeply. People often times are misunderstood and I know quite often I misunderstand. You have to be careful what you say.

Keep your friends close - you need them.

(This post may not have made sense to anyone, maybe it did. I think one of these days I should probably answer the "harder questions.")

Click here to watch the video I created of me and Mike.

A Birthday Weekend For a Chimpanzee - That's Me

This a twenty-year-old speaking. Yep, you heard it. I turned twenty! I cannot believe it. I have to say that it was a fantastic weekend thanks to all of the wonderful people in my life. My best friend Madi let me know that she had a whole day of fun planned for me on Saturday and not to plan anything. She picked me up around 11:30 and as I peeped my head out the door I could tell there were a couple of people in the car with her - Ryan and Erika! I was so excited.

                                                                       

 

 

When I got in the car, they wanted me to open the first card. Also in this card was a dollar - how thoughtful.

 

And they handed me my movie treat, which was sour watermelon candy, one of my favorites. We stopped at Del Taco for some lunch and then we saw Endless Love, which was so amazing. I loved every second of it and I must see it again soon.

 

 

Then, it was time to see where our next stop was...

 

 

 

I was so ecstatic! I had always wanted to get a pedicure.

 

It was quite the time. Even Ryan got a pedi. The little Asian ladies who did them were adorable and we really didn't know what they were saying the whole time. We all enjoyed it so much (even Ryan secretly).

 

 

 

The Spaghetti Factory was so great as always. I got Mizithra! What a shocker, right?!

 

Next stop...

 

We had a dramatic delay in between here... which I do not wish to talk about. After a couple of hours, we made it to the hotel and had some cake!

 

 

 

It was a delicious oreo cake which we had to be very creative with the eating part of it. No forks equals glow sticks, room cards, and other sorts of alternatives used as utensils. We swam and sat in the hot tub after cake and that was really a nice way to end the night. Ryan left after that and us girls took a shower and then lay around. Erika and I started dozing off while Madi put tattoos on my arm.

 

 

 

What an exciting night it was. We were all tired, but we laughed our butts off and almost peed several times! I am so grateful for the time and money Madi spent to make my birthday a special one.

 

The next day, I went to lunch with my parents and then later Madi, Jennie, and my grandparents came over for strawberry shortcake and a fun time!

 

 

 

The fabulous birthday waffle Patty gave me.

 

 

My mom and dad got me this beatiful ring. The picture doesn't really do it justice, but I love it. Payt also helped pick it out. They know me well.

 

Payt got me the Zebra Stripe gum because we used to chew it as a child. We tried out the tongue tats.

 

It was a wonderful birthday weekend overall and I am so grateful for the wondeful people in my life. I am so blessed. I am grateful for all of the gifts and money that everyone gave me. It meant so much! My math teacher even gave me a gift without knowing... I hadn't studied for a big test all weekend due to ^^ and when I got to class on Monday she said that we were making it a group exam. I was so relieved and I got pretty lucky. Thanks to everyone who made my birthday special!



Seventeen

Ohhhh my goodness. Can you believe it has been eight whole months! Month seventeen is finally complete. Let's discuss. It's been a pretty busy and overwhelming (to say the least) month for me. I am not trying to be dramatic, but it really has been. I am pooped between school, work, working out, trying to eat healthy, applying to UVU's teaching program, getting ready for China, and trying to make time for my loved ones. It gets insane! That's why I love the weekends because it gives me time to think and BREATHE. I am very thankful for a busy life because it makes time go by so much faster. It's not dragging on at all. And each busy day is a day closer to seeing my love again. This month, something really exciting happened for me. I got selected for the T.H. Bell Scholarship. That right there is such a blessing because it takes so much stress off of me financially. China is going to be expensive and I have student loans that need to be paid, so this is just what I needed. I am so grateful. I don't even have the words to express my gratitude at this point in time. This month was also great for me because Madi and I were able to mend our friendship. I knew we could do it. I love her so much. Ash and my dad both had birthdays and we celebrated V-Day! My lovely parents took me to dinner with them that day. It was really fun. Overall, it's been a fantastic month for me! Oh, and I sent off my first package to Mike. Usually I will just add my stuff into his family's package, but I wanted to try my own this time. He has not gotten it yet, but he will around the 19th of this month. Perfect for his birthday and our anniversary! I can't wait. 

Mike has been really enjoying his time. He is still in Negril and with Elder Lee still. Him and Elder Lee seem to really get along, so that is great. They were going to baptize Zoy this month, but her mom would not sign the permission slip, so Mike was bummed about that. But she will probably get baptized when she is 18 in June. They have been able to get quite a few inactive members back to church this month and that has been really cool to hear about. I know Mike has a hard time in Negril because it is so small and there are only so many people to actually teach, but I love how he continues to have a positive attitude about it. He got to speak in sacrament also this month and he discussed the Pride Cycle. That was really interesting to me. I love hearing from him each and every week. I am so grateful for technology. I have been having a hard time lately because he is so focused, which don't get me wrong, it's wonderful - he should be. But I can't deny that it is hard for me. I ultimately know the love he has for me and he never forgets to tell me. So I am grateful for that. I love him with everything I have. 

So, I would like to share the monthly memory. This is the memory I shared with Mike a couple weeks ago because we each share a memory with each other each week, which has been something I cherish. Anyway, so it was a couple nights before he left on his mission. We were heading over to his pool for a family party with his mom's side. I remember I was getting ready and he told me not to wear makeup and get ready since we were swimming, so I didn't. Then, on our way over there he was like, "I was just kidding. We aren't really swimming. I just didn't want you to wear makeup!" He is such a nerd. But then he said just kidding, we really were swimming. I think I just love this memory because he would always ask me not to wear makeup. I love that about him. He is so simple and down to earth. 

Well, we are a month closer to forever! Only 16 more months left! Hello March, my favorite month.