Grandma L

I think it's time to talk about the harder things.

I haven't blogged for a bit, so it's time. I have to say that these past couple of weeks have been a blur. They have been scary, exhausting, trying, but most of all, full of so much love. A couple of weeks ago, we were over at my grandparents for a regular visit when they told us they need to tell us something. My grandpa talked about how the day after my birthday party, my grandma started getting really sick. She had been sick ever since August, but this time it was worse. Days went by and they decided to go to the hospital. The doctor warned them that there was not much more that could be done for her lungs and that she might not have much longer. He also had them write up a living will. This was all so hard for me to hear. It was devastating. My grandparents have always been in my life and I just always thought they would be. It was a hard weekend, but I spent as much time as I could over there. It was nice to see all of the family come together that weekend. I honestly thought that was it. Grandma seemed to only be getting worse. We were all hopeful, but it was hard to see her so miserable.

This past week, she ended up getting so bad that they took her to the hospital. That was on Wednesday this week. I missed class to go be there with her. It broke my heart to walk in the emergency room and see her having such a hard time on the BiPap. It is a massive breathing treatment pretty much. She seemed to be in pretty bad shape.

Anyway, I have been going to the hospital every day to check up on her and she has actually been improving so much. She has been the happiest I have ever seen her. And it is great to see her enjoying her food so much at the hospital. She really wasn't eating much and she had lost so much weight. Her favorite is the breakfast - she always has fruit, oatmeal/cream o' wheat, and bacon. She is so full of love for people. One night it was just her and I there talking. She talked to me for over an hour. I just listened. I learned so much from her. I looked at life in a different way that night. I stopped worrying about all of the petty things, at least for that moment.

None of us really know what is to come with all of this. But if there is anything that I have learned, it is love. I have grown so close to my grandma these past couple of weeks. We were already close, but we have become even closer. I have learned the important things. I also look at the patience my grandpa has. He is so selfless in taking care of grandma. That is what true love is all about and I hope to have that when I am older.

Another thing I have learned is that you can never take anyone for granted. Who knows when someone you love will pass on. We have to just love each other and make sure to tell them. I hope my grandparents know how much I love them.

I am so grateful to have the grandparents I do. I am grateful for the time I have been able to spend with them. Maybe life and school have taken the back-burner, but that's okay. I think I have a good excuse.

Grandma's still in the hospital, but she should be leaving soon. But I'll miss the hospital. I just love it there. There's always so much love in a hospital. And I love the smell there. It's such a nostalgic feeling.