to discuss the harder things

Maybe I hide it well, maybe I don't. But there's something that weighs on me, something that I am working on overcoming. Back in the fall I got a few tattoos. I was really excited to say the least - ask my parents. I didn't think about it for long at all and I probably should have. But that's beside the point, because as we all know, tattoos are permanent, very very permanent. I don't want you to get the idea that I regret my tattoos. I do not regret them whatsoever. I actually avoid the "R" word, as I don't really believe that we should regret anything because at one point it made us really happy. We all grow and evolve and sometimes we change, better or worse. That is when the "R" word comes into play because we might not like or agree with the choices we once made.

Anyway, like I said, I do not regret getting my tattoos. I love them, in fact. They make me me. Now would I get tattoos today? No. But that does not mean that I didn't want them then. Because I did. And I have to support the choices that I once made with a perfectly sound mind. And just because I wouldn't choose to get them now, does not mean that I wish I didn't get them. I'm probably being really confusing.

My point is that it is hard sometimes because I get weird looks and like, "what were you thinking?" It doesn't make me feel good. I sometimes don't want people to see them because I do not want to explain them. I hate to feel judged. I hate to feel as though people think I'm a bad person because of some stupid ink on my fingers. I'm trying to get over feeling like I need to hide them. I need to work on showcasing me and not being afraid. It's hard, but I will get there.

I chose to get a triangle on my finger and it represents a strong foundation. I got "forever".... well because of Mike and I. It's our little forever. He is my best friend and my forever. I don't usually tell people that cause I'll get the, "Really? But what if things don't work out?" look. Yeah, well if things didn't work out, it was still something that was a huge part of my life and it's not his name or anything. But I don't want to explain all that to people. They usually don't ask anyway. I have one on my ankle that Madi, Tay, and I got. We put all of our letters together and made a symbol. Friends really mean a lot to me.

I was going through a harder time in my life when I got the tattoos, so maybe I wasn't totally in a sound mind. Haha but if anything, they can remind me of what I went through and what I have overcome.

So, yes, I love my tattoos.

Pardon the freshly painted fingernail nastiness and the dry hands.